i just avoided the bible thumpers by hiding in my room and refusing to go to the door.

*sheesh*

it's not that i don't have spiritual beliefs. i do.

it's not that i am weak in my convictions. i'm not.

about a week ago one showed up at my door (which was open due to the good weather) and gave me tracts and pamphlets and spoke with a german accent. she was very nice and seemed sincere in her beliefs. she was serious about showing me an actual picture of the afterlife (artfully done, with the lion and the lamb lieing side by side, little children playing in the grass next to tigers and people smiling and well-dressed, the pamplet looked like a comic book) and asking me if i truly believed this could happen and explaining that indeed, it is going to happen. i did not laugh at her, although the urge was there.

*sigh*

today, TWO of them pull up in the driveway in some big, expensive car (right next to my 94 taurus with expired plates and no insurance, please dont ask me about that right now) and it's not only the same lady but TWO of the same ladies. they could be twins, same shade of hair color, same hairstyle, and peeking out the window i could see they are loaded for bear... carrying bibles, notebooks, tracts, omg they can barely walk they are carrying so much information.

i RAN, okay? i'm not ashamed to admit it, i FLEW to the TV and shut it off and SPRINTED to my room and shut the door, breath heaving in an out and sweat on my brow. i wasn't afraid, but i sure was pissed off. what is the use of religion if you have to force it down someone's throat? if i come to you with questions, by all means, bring out everything you have and show me your position, but be prepared to back it up because i'm a tough sell.

but i didn't ask for this and i didn't want it. i'm sure they were all pumped up thinking they were going to add another soul to their tally to show jesus when it was their turn on judgement day, but it wasn't happening. just because i heard the lady out the first time (and wasted thirty minutes of my time) and was polite, now they think i'm a convert.

moral: fuck, i don't know. that i'm going to hell? been there (i was married once, remember?) so hell doesn't scare me.

****

now that i'm totally annoyed and pissed off, now what?

****

donna started her new job today, and she didn't even break out in hives. she and brandon were pretty cozy yesterday, he took her to the movies but it wasn't a date. (??) they are just friends.

fine by me.

i started work on a story, but financial thingys are distracting me. i've had several inquiries about quilts (even one with photo transfers, i hope she decides yes because that sounds like FUN!) but i sure wish people would decide for real and ante up. one girl told me my prices were too reasonable, and i said i've heard that before, i guess i better bump them up and she said hell no, not before i can get mine.

(all about i gotta get mine, isn't it? )

i know things will smooth out and be okay, i'm just really irritated as hell right now. i guess i'm bringing bad karma on myself, but at least i didn't swear at them and slam the door in their face. (yes, i'm still stuck on the bible people.)

shit.

when they say stuff like, "Are you saved?" it makes me think of them taking my shriveled up, wrinkly little soul and stuffing it in a ziploc bag for freshness.

now THAT scares me.

: )