people aren't always what they seem, you notice that?

i'm not talking just on the internet, where i will say i have had the best of luck finding quality people. i'm talking about up close and personal.

have you ever been friends with someone just because of life's circumstance? not out of choice, exactly, but because the cosmos threw you together just to see what would happen.

i guess the only good thing about that is if (or when) the friendship implodes, it doesn't hurt so much.

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i've also noticed that the more someone's life is in a shambles, the more they feel they can tell you what to do with yours.

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we took the day off because 1) it cannot be hotter in the bowels of hell and 2) there were no new ads in the paper. so, we went for a ride and sat and talked for a couple of hours. good communication is just as good as sex, imo. not interchangeable, you understand, but just as good.

that brings me to another observation i've made over the years. i firmly believe a good sex life is essential to a relationship. by that i mean, it's the one place where you are the most vulnerable, where complete trust is tested, where true intimacy is gauged. this above and beyond the actual deed itself.

i'm a lucky girl.

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did i say how hot it is? are you sick of hearing it yet? i believe the thermostat stood at 102 today and that's not counting the heat index. it's pretty bad when you're sweating in the air conditioning.

i can hear my four brain cells frying inside my skull.

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i'm itching to start writing again; or should i say, actually sitting down and completing something. it's been so long i don't know what's in there. i've taken tons of notes on "The Blood" ( i know some of you remember that one....i'm obsessed with it, and i have a feeling it will end up in the novella range.) it's my longest piece ever at 4000 words....quite a surprise from the flash queen.

i love flash fiction, it's my favorite to write. i don't know if it's because i have the attention span of a gnat, or because my writing skills are so limited. i have a few that are my personal favorites, and i was thrilled beyond words when "Inquiring Minds" was published last year by Flashquake. i was getting to the point where i didn't think anyone would ever "get" what i was doing. thanks to saf, laurie, perry and joe (not to mention all the wonderful folks at CriticalMS) for the support. i guess they were right.

i have all the writing disks i was able to salvage from last year's computer crash (DID YOU BACK UP TODAY?? GO DO IT. I'M SERIOUS.) and all my journals in one bag that i have lugged with me all year long. if the place caught fire that's the first thing i'd grab (now that sparky is in a kennel.)

the other thing i have taken a lot of notes on, mostly brainstorming, is "Dreamweavers" (formerly titled "Dreamcatchers" until stephen king stole my title, the ratbastid.) *sigh* someday i'll get it together.

i've often thought about writing my life's experiences, but there are some mighty dark places i can't bear to re-visit...maybe when i'm 85, in an old folk's home, drooling and sitting in a rocker. besides, it ain't over yet.

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i've met the nicest people here. there's quite a rainbow of colors and personalities, and i'm digging it. when i look around, the colors seem brighter to me. it's easier for me to be friendly, although i'm pretty friendly to start with. i see more smiles. i wonder how much is the changing of the environment and how much is the effect of the process of a healing heart. it's amazing how long a heart can stay wounded and still beat. i don't see as many shadows in the corners any more.

there is hope the broken can be fixed. in the meantime, i have to remember to be gentle with myself.

it's easier when there's someone showing you how.

:)