the strange planet inside my head
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WordWebbing.com -- Spinning Words For Any Occasion
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bonus points, constipation and lonely hearts
i have almost 15,000 bonus points. that has earned me a free night. only 45 more days here and i can move up to the next level.
please god, don't let that happen.
****
i find it very difficult to write when i'm under a lot of stress, which pretty much sums up my mental state right now. however, most of my life has been under a lot of stress, so i'm wondering how conditioned i am to it. when the day comes when the stress is down to manageable portions, will the constipation finally end and words magically flow? do i use stress as an excuse to not write? i have a brain cell in quadrant four, but the other one seems to be 10 billion light years away in the opposing quadrant. and never the twain shall meet.
will i ever catch a break, or am i doomed to swim through stress streaked waters until i move on to the next plane of reality, only to start all over again?
is it karma? what the hell IS karma, anyway? if i'm paying for something i did in a past life, i'm REALLY FUCKING SORRY already. sheesh.
or is it i'm supposed to learn a lesson here...and am i just thinking like this to enhance the stress-filled state i already inhabit on a regular basis? i checked my blood pressure today, and wish i hadn't. maybe a major coronary is just waiting for one more fat-filled hamburger to hand me my ticket to my next life.
i'm not morose, really. i'm just free writing here, as i do in most of my entries. amazing what comes out, most the time i don't even realize i'm thinking this shit till it comes out. i guess it's a good way to police your actual state of mind. maybe i should be scared.
****
the girlchild misses her boyfiend very much, and as much as i hate the guy, i can understand how she feels. the knight has been out of town on business and it sucks. i hate it. i don't care how many times he calls, i just hate being separated from him for any length of time. this is the whole reason i never wanted to do the love thing ever ever ever.
*sigh* too late now. i'm hooked.
but then, so is he. heh heh heh.
****
i miss him. this really sucks. i just saw him yesterday for cryin' out loud, he's called me five times today, WTF...i feel like half of me is missing, like i can't think straight. oh, this is awful.
somebody shoot me.
please god, don't let that happen.
****
i find it very difficult to write when i'm under a lot of stress, which pretty much sums up my mental state right now. however, most of my life has been under a lot of stress, so i'm wondering how conditioned i am to it. when the day comes when the stress is down to manageable portions, will the constipation finally end and words magically flow? do i use stress as an excuse to not write? i have a brain cell in quadrant four, but the other one seems to be 10 billion light years away in the opposing quadrant. and never the twain shall meet.
will i ever catch a break, or am i doomed to swim through stress streaked waters until i move on to the next plane of reality, only to start all over again?
is it karma? what the hell IS karma, anyway? if i'm paying for something i did in a past life, i'm REALLY FUCKING SORRY already. sheesh.
or is it i'm supposed to learn a lesson here...and am i just thinking like this to enhance the stress-filled state i already inhabit on a regular basis? i checked my blood pressure today, and wish i hadn't. maybe a major coronary is just waiting for one more fat-filled hamburger to hand me my ticket to my next life.
i'm not morose, really. i'm just free writing here, as i do in most of my entries. amazing what comes out, most the time i don't even realize i'm thinking this shit till it comes out. i guess it's a good way to police your actual state of mind. maybe i should be scared.
****
the girlchild misses her boyfiend very much, and as much as i hate the guy, i can understand how she feels. the knight has been out of town on business and it sucks. i hate it. i don't care how many times he calls, i just hate being separated from him for any length of time. this is the whole reason i never wanted to do the love thing ever ever ever.
*sigh* too late now. i'm hooked.
but then, so is he. heh heh heh.
****
i miss him. this really sucks. i just saw him yesterday for cryin' out loud, he's called me five times today, WTF...i feel like half of me is missing, like i can't think straight. oh, this is awful.
somebody shoot me.
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