for the very first time since i started blogging here, i feel a little uncomfortable, and that not only makes me sad but it pisses me off.

feels like i'm wearing itchy wool socks in the shower.

my apologies to you who have witnessed a family snafu, of sorts. i realize that i'm pretty open about my feelings here, but i never meant this to become an open battleground. in that vein, inappropriate posts unrelated to my daily material will be deleted.

i can be reached at the email link above. feel free to use it if you have something of a personal nature you feel you need to discuss with me. otherwise, get your own blog.

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to my sister: i deleted your post because your phone number was on it, silly girl. you sure don't need any wierdos calling your house in the middle of the night...do ya?? :) i can't access links from here, they don't work so email me, okay? i'll call as soon as i can. i am more than okay, i am very happy and just trying to get my life together. not to worry... love you :)

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*deep breath*

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i was going to write something to my brother here, but it ain't worth it.

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okay, on to other things.

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i haven't read the paper yet so i don't know if there's anything in the news that's going to perk my interest.

there's a little girl walking through here that's crying and screaming her head off. i know it's not funny to her, but it is kinda funny to witness.

don't you wish sometimes that you could walk through a place, or down the street, or sitting at work and cry and scream at the top of your lungs with absolutely no self-conciousness at all? that little girl didn't give a rat's ass who was listening to her, she felt bad because she didn't get her doughnut ( her ratbastid father made her eat CEREAL! ) and made damned sure everyone around her knew it.

the unself-consiousness of youth.

i wonder what it would be like if we could all walk around and let it all out like that. What a funny picture that is. You don’t get your raise, you throw yourself on the floor and have a temper tantrum. You gained five pounds and you scream and cry. Your husband left his dirty socks ( again ! ) on the bedroom floor inches from the hamper, and you gnash your teeth and pull your hair.

Of course, if you cry and scream like a little kid, you have to laugh and feel joy like one too. They are two halves of the same coin.

I sure miss behaving inappropriately in public. Although I have to admit, sometimes I still do it. We all need to be in touch with our inner child, now and then. That’s one good thing about getting older, you start to lose that self-conciousness and relax a little.

Of course, if I saw a 40-something year old woman ( or man ) walking through someplace crying and screaming because she/he couldn’t have a doughnut I’d probably wet myself laughing. It’s more serious when you’re only 4.

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well, that’s about all I got for today, friends and neighbors. The itchy socks are…well, itchy and I feel curiously drained. ( Which is not unusual when dealing with certain family members. ) hopefully things will be better tomorrow, as for today…

I’m going to bask. And ruminate. Throw in a little pondering and I should be raring to go.