the strange planet inside my head
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not as young as i used to be
holy shit, am i beat or what.
i just worked 16 out of 24 hours, and i feel so old today it's not even funny. i have the next two days off, and tomorrow i'm getting a new pair of sneakers for my birthday. ( YAY! ) other than that, i don't really have any plans for sunday, although the knight has been acting as if he has something up his sleeve. right now i'm so tired that eighteen hours of uninterrupted sleep sounds like a pretty good gift.
****
my books came in from amazon, so color me happy! i read Koontz's Forever Odd, and liked it almost as much as i liked Odd Thomas. on deck are Gary Provost's Making Your Words Work, and of course, two Stephen King books i don't have and have been wanting to read, Cell and Tales From a Buick 8. yet to arrive but highly anticipated is his book On Writing. quite a nice haul...and i will definitely buy from amazon again. all five books were less than $50, which was what my free certificate equaled. i love free stuff.
****
i have a new best friend...his name is TJ and he's the son of the FEMA woman who is very good at milking the system. ( forgive me, but it's true. ) he breaks my heart into a thousand pieces. he's eighteen, black, with beautiful eyes and great dimples. he did not graduate high school because he says he has a cyst in the left side of his brain and lost a lot of time from school from being in the hospital. he also says he has arthritis in his knees and back. ( at eighteen?? ) he tells me stories of how his dad ( who is now in prison ) used to beat the shit out of him, and the fights he has been in with the mother's boyfriend. he is a good kid...respectful, polite and funny. he's taken a shine to me ( and me to him ). i feel bad because i think he's been left out of a lot in a family of seven kids. his grandma slaps him around, but he loves her anyway. he can always tell when she's getting ready to lay the smackdown on him because she'll be yelling and she'll start to stutter because she can't get the words out...and that's when he knows it's coming.
he wants to get a job and help his mom out, but he's got no diploma and he doesn't want to be asking people "You want fries with that?" for the rest of his life. he's bright; there's something about him that shines. i can't describe it, but i know that he already has strikes against him and his road is going to be very difficult.
he was hanging out with some kids in the area; they started some trouble and he got caught in the middle of it and now has to go to court.
can you hear that? that's the sound of my heart cracking.
****
i know. you don't even have to say it. but i still have a lump in my throat.
****
all he knows is what he's been shown. but still, he knows there's something better out there, he's smart like that. what's worse? to be too dumb to know you can get out of the trap, or just smart enough to know you're in the trap to begin with and often there is no way out??
****
yes, i will angst over this for some time. shut up already.
****
i'm very confused as to their situation...they were down south, their house was destroyed ( they all went to TJ's room, where there were no windows; a tree came crashing through the house. ) i don't know if they owned the house or were just renting; i'm not sure how they ended up here ( other than she has a lot of family in the area ) or what they're going to do...FEMA cuts them off on the 13th, and he says they are having a very hard time because by the time FEMA got around to the state they're from there was almost nothing left. he sees his mom doing her thing and probably figures what the hell? this is the woman that wants $10,000 for her appliances.
i don't know. i guess i better stop thinking about it.
****
*sigh*
****
i did pretty well at the 35 word challenge from RT, but i totally disregarded the setting. ( MYBAD! ) can i do that?? well, the beach thing just was not working, and i tried, i really did. i guess i'm not in a beachy place right now. still and all, i'm reasonably happy with what came out and where it might go...it was a really good challenge!! ( YAY! RT!! ) although, i'm hoping by posting as an answer to a post, and not a posting itself, it won't be considered as already published material.
hey RT...what do you think about creating a blog about the challenge exclusively, for those who are participating? like Coregroup? then, if anyone wanted access, you could email them the password...that way, we could argue that it's a PW protected workshop environment. we could all post, and then just add to our individual posts every day.
it's a thought. lemme know.
****
okay, i'm really getting punchy here, so i think after a small dinner of fresh baby greens and blue cheese, i'm going to watch the outcome of "Dancing With The Stars" and fall unconcious.
sound good?
8) <- tired eyes
i just worked 16 out of 24 hours, and i feel so old today it's not even funny. i have the next two days off, and tomorrow i'm getting a new pair of sneakers for my birthday. ( YAY! ) other than that, i don't really have any plans for sunday, although the knight has been acting as if he has something up his sleeve. right now i'm so tired that eighteen hours of uninterrupted sleep sounds like a pretty good gift.
****
my books came in from amazon, so color me happy! i read Koontz's Forever Odd, and liked it almost as much as i liked Odd Thomas. on deck are Gary Provost's Making Your Words Work, and of course, two Stephen King books i don't have and have been wanting to read, Cell and Tales From a Buick 8. yet to arrive but highly anticipated is his book On Writing. quite a nice haul...and i will definitely buy from amazon again. all five books were less than $50, which was what my free certificate equaled. i love free stuff.
****
i have a new best friend...his name is TJ and he's the son of the FEMA woman who is very good at milking the system. ( forgive me, but it's true. ) he breaks my heart into a thousand pieces. he's eighteen, black, with beautiful eyes and great dimples. he did not graduate high school because he says he has a cyst in the left side of his brain and lost a lot of time from school from being in the hospital. he also says he has arthritis in his knees and back. ( at eighteen?? ) he tells me stories of how his dad ( who is now in prison ) used to beat the shit out of him, and the fights he has been in with the mother's boyfriend. he is a good kid...respectful, polite and funny. he's taken a shine to me ( and me to him ). i feel bad because i think he's been left out of a lot in a family of seven kids. his grandma slaps him around, but he loves her anyway. he can always tell when she's getting ready to lay the smackdown on him because she'll be yelling and she'll start to stutter because she can't get the words out...and that's when he knows it's coming.
he wants to get a job and help his mom out, but he's got no diploma and he doesn't want to be asking people "You want fries with that?" for the rest of his life. he's bright; there's something about him that shines. i can't describe it, but i know that he already has strikes against him and his road is going to be very difficult.
he was hanging out with some kids in the area; they started some trouble and he got caught in the middle of it and now has to go to court.
can you hear that? that's the sound of my heart cracking.
****
i know. you don't even have to say it. but i still have a lump in my throat.
****
all he knows is what he's been shown. but still, he knows there's something better out there, he's smart like that. what's worse? to be too dumb to know you can get out of the trap, or just smart enough to know you're in the trap to begin with and often there is no way out??
****
yes, i will angst over this for some time. shut up already.
****
i'm very confused as to their situation...they were down south, their house was destroyed ( they all went to TJ's room, where there were no windows; a tree came crashing through the house. ) i don't know if they owned the house or were just renting; i'm not sure how they ended up here ( other than she has a lot of family in the area ) or what they're going to do...FEMA cuts them off on the 13th, and he says they are having a very hard time because by the time FEMA got around to the state they're from there was almost nothing left. he sees his mom doing her thing and probably figures what the hell? this is the woman that wants $10,000 for her appliances.
i don't know. i guess i better stop thinking about it.
****
*sigh*
****
i did pretty well at the 35 word challenge from RT, but i totally disregarded the setting. ( MYBAD! ) can i do that?? well, the beach thing just was not working, and i tried, i really did. i guess i'm not in a beachy place right now. still and all, i'm reasonably happy with what came out and where it might go...it was a really good challenge!! ( YAY! RT!! ) although, i'm hoping by posting as an answer to a post, and not a posting itself, it won't be considered as already published material.
hey RT...what do you think about creating a blog about the challenge exclusively, for those who are participating? like Coregroup? then, if anyone wanted access, you could email them the password...that way, we could argue that it's a PW protected workshop environment. we could all post, and then just add to our individual posts every day.
it's a thought. lemme know.
****
okay, i'm really getting punchy here, so i think after a small dinner of fresh baby greens and blue cheese, i'm going to watch the outcome of "Dancing With The Stars" and fall unconcious.
sound good?
8) <- tired eyes
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