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pissy
it had better snow. and it had better snow a LOT.
the trip has been postponed, although i must say i resent like hell feeling as if i were twelve instead of forty-friggin-eight years old.
the conversations with the knight today were....intense. for a good part of the day it was not happy in nettaland.
****
yes, i'm irritated. you know, i read somewhere once that depression is anger turned inward. i think this is very true, and if i wasn't so pissed off i might discuss this phenomenon.
i guess the fact that i feel pissed off instead of any number of yucky things i've felt in the last month is an encouraging sign. the Big Bitch is pacing, pacing, and i hope no one pokes her too hard. she peeked out once today, and i'm sure that was traumatic for the guy on the other end of the phone, but he had it coming. polite, professional, but i got my point across. he was very apologetic and delivered what he said he would (unlike the last dingdong i dealt with at that office) before i finished my shift at three.
alrighty, then. don't fuck with me, because i mean business.
****
so instead of visiting my beautiful and amazing daughter and my lovely and awesome mother, i'm going to inflict some serious retail therapy damage tomorrow. (to me, serious retail therapy damage is spending $50 on something i don't need and having lunch out, then feeling guilty for two weeks afterward. i know, i'm a wild woman, what can i say?)
in light of certain recent activities, i'm looking for crystals, a zappy pen, a specific type of smudge stick and a couple of other items. i'm also finishing up a second 'love box' to send out -- the first one was a smashing success and made me happy.
i think that was the best new year's 'resolution' i ever made.
****
now, there's absolutely no excuse for me not to get some writing done. or, at least try. been a little constipated lately. i've spent almost all my spare time finishing up a project and being admin at TSB. it's been busy there, and i love it. the members are a great mix of people and there's not only star quality work being done, but a lot of potential. i think that's what excites me the most.
we have sixteen forums, twenty-one members, and i used the template provided by Forum Circle to set it up. it might look impressive, but i'm not a geek, i'm just a clever monkey. it did take a little time to learn the gizmos and buttons, but i had help from a true geek and i've tried to pay attention to what he's tried to teach me.
many thanks, sir.
****
and i seem to be back on the blog wheel. i never really did fall all the way off, and i'm guessing this shot of pissiness is to be credited. when you gotta go, you gotta go.
****
you know, in spite of the pissiness factor, i actually feel peaceful tonight. i fell about a month ago, and there was a safety net of friends and family that cradled that fall and made sure i knew i am not totally alone and i am loved. this is such a wonderful feeling. i know i'm not out of it yet, but i feel a deal better than i did even a couple of days ago. i appreciate all y'all hanging with me, i truly do. some days all i could do was to get out of bed and force myself through the motions, and your comments when i did post made a huge difference. i felt the hugs, the well-wishes (and a couple of pinches on the ass, i'm still trying to figure out who that was) and the good vibes from here. it's been a rough ride from where i sit, and i know it couldn't have been pretty for you all, either.
i hate to think where i would be today without your love and support.
thank you.
from the bottom of my pissy little heart, thank you.
****
okay, enough mushy stuff. almost had a tear there.
****
shut up and just pass the tissues.
Check out TSB for the most legal fun you can have with your clothes on.
the trip has been postponed, although i must say i resent like hell feeling as if i were twelve instead of forty-friggin-eight years old.
the conversations with the knight today were....intense. for a good part of the day it was not happy in nettaland.
****
yes, i'm irritated. you know, i read somewhere once that depression is anger turned inward. i think this is very true, and if i wasn't so pissed off i might discuss this phenomenon.
i guess the fact that i feel pissed off instead of any number of yucky things i've felt in the last month is an encouraging sign. the Big Bitch is pacing, pacing, and i hope no one pokes her too hard. she peeked out once today, and i'm sure that was traumatic for the guy on the other end of the phone, but he had it coming. polite, professional, but i got my point across. he was very apologetic and delivered what he said he would (unlike the last dingdong i dealt with at that office) before i finished my shift at three.
alrighty, then. don't fuck with me, because i mean business.
****
so instead of visiting my beautiful and amazing daughter and my lovely and awesome mother, i'm going to inflict some serious retail therapy damage tomorrow. (to me, serious retail therapy damage is spending $50 on something i don't need and having lunch out, then feeling guilty for two weeks afterward. i know, i'm a wild woman, what can i say?)
in light of certain recent activities, i'm looking for crystals, a zappy pen, a specific type of smudge stick and a couple of other items. i'm also finishing up a second 'love box' to send out -- the first one was a smashing success and made me happy.
i think that was the best new year's 'resolution' i ever made.
****
now, there's absolutely no excuse for me not to get some writing done. or, at least try. been a little constipated lately. i've spent almost all my spare time finishing up a project and being admin at TSB. it's been busy there, and i love it. the members are a great mix of people and there's not only star quality work being done, but a lot of potential. i think that's what excites me the most.
we have sixteen forums, twenty-one members, and i used the template provided by Forum Circle to set it up. it might look impressive, but i'm not a geek, i'm just a clever monkey. it did take a little time to learn the gizmos and buttons, but i had help from a true geek and i've tried to pay attention to what he's tried to teach me.
many thanks, sir.
****
and i seem to be back on the blog wheel. i never really did fall all the way off, and i'm guessing this shot of pissiness is to be credited. when you gotta go, you gotta go.
****
you know, in spite of the pissiness factor, i actually feel peaceful tonight. i fell about a month ago, and there was a safety net of friends and family that cradled that fall and made sure i knew i am not totally alone and i am loved. this is such a wonderful feeling. i know i'm not out of it yet, but i feel a deal better than i did even a couple of days ago. i appreciate all y'all hanging with me, i truly do. some days all i could do was to get out of bed and force myself through the motions, and your comments when i did post made a huge difference. i felt the hugs, the well-wishes (and a couple of pinches on the ass, i'm still trying to figure out who that was) and the good vibes from here. it's been a rough ride from where i sit, and i know it couldn't have been pretty for you all, either.
i hate to think where i would be today without your love and support.
thank you.
from the bottom of my pissy little heart, thank you.
****
okay, enough mushy stuff. almost had a tear there.
****
shut up and just pass the tissues.
Check out TSB for the most legal fun you can have with your clothes on.
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