i feel hormonal, even though i don't have the parts for it anymore. maybe it's all the change, the projected change, and the things that haven't changed.

****

i'm quite discouraged and a little upset, although it's not going to stop me. i've been looking at other copy jobs, better paying ones, but they ask for a CV (and yes, i'm so stupid i had no idea WTF that was, but i looked it up and felt even more stupid.) a resume i can do, but i can't do a CV and a lot of the better paying jobs require one.

not to mention i don't have academic credits to put on one in the first place. or job credits, either. at least, not writing ones.

so, there you go. not qualified (although i'm pretty sure i could handle writing a 150 word ad copy on an informational DVD) and i'm never going to be qualified.

****

i've already bawled this morning (at about 4AM when i was wide awake with the Screaming Shitz.) honestly, why can't things be, well, not easy but at least a little simpler? i'm. just. so. tired.

****

you ever feel like that? like, i just can't do it anymore. the giggly happy stuff is like a mask, and i can put it on in a heartbeat, when all i want to do inside is howl.

i am so fucking tired right now.


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