my sister called me to keep me updated on the Withered One. (she's doing much better. thank the lawd and all his minions, for real. that was just too damned scary.) said sister's birthday is today (we're one year and 360 days apart) and she when she called the other day she asked me, are you gonna call me on my birthday?

sure, i said. what do you want me to call you?

oh, she said. anything but "bitch." that's getting old.

okies. how about "hag", or "phucktard"?

yeah, that'd be different.

heh.

so, happy birthday, ya old hag. you're lucky i don't have some of the pictures from out youth...you know, when we wore MATCHING DRESSES....with shiny SHOES and GLOVES. (remember the little white gloves at Toni's wedding when we were four and six? and you were taller than me even then? remember the hats that went with the gloves?

i loved the gloves, and you hated them. but you looked so cute.)

i may have told this story once before, but when my sister was very small, she was expected to know her name, address, phone number and birthdate before she started kindergarten. (these days, you're expected to have a PhD in childhood before you start, but i digress.)

now, my sister is a lot of things (and we've called each other every one of them, *snicker*) and Stubborn is on top of the list.

my mom and dad (mostly my dad -- my mom gave it up as a Mission Impossible early on) grilled her for HOURS.

what's your birthday?

i don't know.

January thirty-first, nineteen sixty.

(i'm repeating it in my bedroom, willing my sister to say it. it soon attains a sing-song quality, and i'm singing it to myself.)

what's your birthday?

i don't know.

January thirty-first, nineteen sixty.

this went on for a very, very long time, and i don't remember my sister ever saying it that night.

yeah, she's a stubborn haglet.

:)

****

to this day, i can't say this date without singing it.

January thirty-first, nineteen sixty.

i love you, Big Bean. happy birthday.

:)



Check out TSB for the most legal fun you can have with your clothes on.