again, the strange planet is full of weird thoughts and unusual shadows. you know, the kind you can't quite identify and you don't know if you should be frightened, shocked, or stupefied.

or all three.

****

do you find it easier or more difficult to be friends with the opposite gender? are your expectations different according to gender? or do you have the same bar with all your friends?

what do you do when the actions of your friend makes it troublesome to continue the relationship? at what point do you call it, and chalk it up to another lesson learned and how much do you tolerate in the name of friendship?

just wondering.

my maintenance dude showed up today, for only the second time in three years, so hungover from last night he was still drunk. most of the time we're like this >< , but like the last time, today he was such a prick i could have drowned him in the pool.

he disappoints me, he truly does.

oh, i love him, and i know he's got my back no matter what, and he's really looked out for me here, especially since the GC departed for greener fields. however, i have come to find that i don't mind it if people get drunk and act the fool if i don't care about them. but when i'm invested, it hurts me to see someone i care about under the influence and being stoopid. (well, actual stupidity always hurts, but you know what i mean.) i know this comes from early years and is my own problem, no one else's. but still.

*sigh*

i don't want to feel that way about my friend.

****

i think part of my problem is i hold too tight to my friends. i hate it when people pass out of my life, even if it's something that's for the best, you know? it just kills. still, i ask Myself, "Self, if they don't do you right, why are you holding tight?"

And Myself says, "Self? That almost rhymed, and not a bad pentameter, either. Nice job. The only answer I have for you is, if you settle for less than you deserve, that's all you'll ever receive."

And so Myself starts to feel a little miffed, and says, "Self? You're a dumbass. What about all that love? What about all the fun? What about all that time wasted?"

Myself snorts. "You call ME the dumbass? It's not wasted, silly bitch. Think of all the things you learned, all the things you gave. That's not wasted -- that's real."

"Yeah, real. Big deal."

Myself rolls her eyes and says, "The rhyming thing is starting to really irritate me."

"But you still love me."

"Why not? Someone has to." Myself smiles.

****

okay, maybe it's a little weird to be having conversations with yourself, but it's not called "the strange planet" for nothing.

****

almost done with the first copy piece, and i may play with it a little more tonight. i would really like to get them both ready to send (but i'll send them on time, maybe a little early but not too early. i don't want to set a bad precedent) by tomorrow afternoon, because we know what tomorrow afternoon is, right?

oy. i'm nervous and excited. i know i'll have the last quarter of the game on mute, and watch from the corner of my eyes as i pretend to work on something important. i just can't take the suspense. heh.

i plan on wearing my cap tomorrow, all day long. if i had it, i'd paint my face blue and white.

make me proud, boys!

the last Superbowl the Giants won was in 1990. i will never, never forget that game. ever. it was the Best Football Game Ever Played in the History of the Football Universe. it was the smallest margin of victory in the history of the Superbowl. (still is.)

it all came down to Scottie Norwood, kicker for Buffalo. Buffalo had driven down to the Giant's 29 yard line, and with four seconds remaining in the game, the ill-fated Norwood made a 47 yard field goal attempt that would clinch the Superbowl, watching in horror as it went wide right.

i always felt bad for him, honestly. even in the midst of Great Celebration, i always felt so bad for Scottie Norwood.

****

i don't get to watch as many games as i used to, because they're not televised here often. i've missed the last few years of the draft, but i still love the Giants.

they were so mighty in the 80's. Mark Bavaro (i watched a play in which Bavaro actually *carried* five men on his back some twelve yards to make a touchdown,) Joe Morris (ganked from Syracuse U) and Phil Simms (one of the most underrated QB's ever.) Carl Banks, Harry Carson, and the Greatest Linebacker of All Time -- LT.

*swoon*

i mean, these guys had it. they were the Big Blue, and they made grown men cry for their mommas.

i remember seeing an interview with Joe Theismann after his career-ending injury (a compound fracture of his leg as a result of a sack by LT and Harry Carson and omg, i remember seeing it on TV and almost barfing) and the commentator (i think this was during the 1990 SB, but i'm not sure) asked him, "What goes through your mind before a game against the Giants?"

Joe said something like, "Every single quarterback in the NFL feels the exact same thing standing at the edge of the field before a game against the Giants. You're nervous as hell about facing Laurence Taylor. Any quarterback that says anything different is lying."

LT was poetry in motion out there, stalking the quarterback. a very big man, but so quick! it was magic.

****

i hope to see some magic tomorrow.

****

if not, i'll still love them.

it's difficult to let go of the things you love.

:)


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