the strange planet inside my head
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letter Four to my Muffin
* author's note: this is an ongoing weekly conversation with my Muffin, who is currently baking inside my GC.
Hi Muffin!
Yes, Sunday again! See what I mean about time flying by? It's already March, and I have to tell you, I'm not sorry to see February go. It was a rough month, so let's wave bye-bye together, what do you think? BYE-BYE!
There, I feel better now, don't you?
Oh, you want to know why February was so rough?
It's a good question, Muffin dear, but at your age (10 weeks, weighing as much as FOUR paperclips!) I think that question is too big for you right now. I *can* tell you that waiting for you has become one of the biggest joys of my life. I'm thrilled when I read at this stage you have all your toes, and you've lost your tail (although I think it would be really cool if you still had it when you come out -- but no worries. If you really want a tail I can make you one, and I'll make one for me too. And daddy and mama, and we can all be monkeys! Doesn't that sound like fun??) Your head is still really big, but the rest of you will catch up soon.
Your mama is feeling better, getting into the swing of things, and thank you for easing up on her a bit. She has a lot of gas that she blames on you, but between you and me, she's ALWAYS had a gas problem. You'll find out. Heh.
And thank you for visiting me in my dreams. This time, we were sitting in the sun, in the dirt. I was showing you how to make little grass huts for little twig people, like I used to do when I was little. You were giggling, walking the twig people around and in and out of their little huts. We made a paddock for little twig horses and little twig cows. The wind picked up and soughed through the willow leaves, and you said, "Noni! The trees is singing!" but the loveliest music to my ears is your lilting voice.
"Noni! The trees is singing!" and you clap your chubby hands with eyes shining. "Shhh, Noni! Lissen!" and you get up, walking over to me to put two grubby hands on each side of my face, turning it toward the singing tree. "Hear it? I hear it!" and you laugh. I can't help but put my arms around you and cuddle you close as we listen to the song of the willow tree.
Thank you for reminding me of the music in the simplest things. For reminding me of the small, happy things I used to do as a child that I can teach you. For reminding me that even in the hard times, there is joy if you but open yourself to it. If you can just listen, even in pain, there is hope, there is love, there is music.
****
You might be small, but the effect you have already is mighty powerful, little Muffin. Already you have taught me, reminded me, and helped me get through some icky days. For that, I promise to do the same for you. Hopefully, you won't have many icky days, but the truth is, you probably will have some. It's okay...icky days help us appreciate the really good ones, and the icky days *do* pass. We can talk about that later, when you're bigger.
****
I love you Muffin, and I miss your mama so much it makes me very sad. I even miss your daddy, believe it or not. You're doing a great job growing and being healthy, so keep it up. I won't be able to come a visit for at least another month or so, but you know that you, mama, and daddy are in the song of every single breath I take, every beat of my heart.
That's my music for you.
<3
Check out TSB for the most legal fun you can have with your clothes on.
Hi Muffin!
Yes, Sunday again! See what I mean about time flying by? It's already March, and I have to tell you, I'm not sorry to see February go. It was a rough month, so let's wave bye-bye together, what do you think? BYE-BYE!
There, I feel better now, don't you?
Oh, you want to know why February was so rough?
It's a good question, Muffin dear, but at your age (10 weeks, weighing as much as FOUR paperclips!) I think that question is too big for you right now. I *can* tell you that waiting for you has become one of the biggest joys of my life. I'm thrilled when I read at this stage you have all your toes, and you've lost your tail (although I think it would be really cool if you still had it when you come out -- but no worries. If you really want a tail I can make you one, and I'll make one for me too. And daddy and mama, and we can all be monkeys! Doesn't that sound like fun??) Your head is still really big, but the rest of you will catch up soon.
Your mama is feeling better, getting into the swing of things, and thank you for easing up on her a bit. She has a lot of gas that she blames on you, but between you and me, she's ALWAYS had a gas problem. You'll find out. Heh.
And thank you for visiting me in my dreams. This time, we were sitting in the sun, in the dirt. I was showing you how to make little grass huts for little twig people, like I used to do when I was little. You were giggling, walking the twig people around and in and out of their little huts. We made a paddock for little twig horses and little twig cows. The wind picked up and soughed through the willow leaves, and you said, "Noni! The trees is singing!" but the loveliest music to my ears is your lilting voice.
"Noni! The trees is singing!" and you clap your chubby hands with eyes shining. "Shhh, Noni! Lissen!" and you get up, walking over to me to put two grubby hands on each side of my face, turning it toward the singing tree. "Hear it? I hear it!" and you laugh. I can't help but put my arms around you and cuddle you close as we listen to the song of the willow tree.
Thank you for reminding me of the music in the simplest things. For reminding me of the small, happy things I used to do as a child that I can teach you. For reminding me that even in the hard times, there is joy if you but open yourself to it. If you can just listen, even in pain, there is hope, there is love, there is music.
****
You might be small, but the effect you have already is mighty powerful, little Muffin. Already you have taught me, reminded me, and helped me get through some icky days. For that, I promise to do the same for you. Hopefully, you won't have many icky days, but the truth is, you probably will have some. It's okay...icky days help us appreciate the really good ones, and the icky days *do* pass. We can talk about that later, when you're bigger.
****
I love you Muffin, and I miss your mama so much it makes me very sad. I even miss your daddy, believe it or not. You're doing a great job growing and being healthy, so keep it up. I won't be able to come a visit for at least another month or so, but you know that you, mama, and daddy are in the song of every single breath I take, every beat of my heart.
That's my music for you.
<3
Check out TSB for the most legal fun you can have with your clothes on.
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