aye aye aye.

getting the planet back in to orbit today was a lesson in futility. the puppy has gotten a lot better about going outside to do his business, and i was charged with capturing a sample.

his first accomplishment of the day was in the dark, so i didn't get that one. darn. i wasn't ready, anyway.

so all day long, i'm on Red Alert (Brown Alert, if you want to be funny and get a smack) for his next offering. i've got three plastic grocery bags, two ziploc bags (one turned inside out) a bandana to tie around my face, and a mixture of antiseptics to wash my hands afterward that is smoking alarmingly.

i have four more layers of epidermis to sacrifice before we're down to muscle tissue.

all day, i'm waiting. he goes out and pees, but no Stinking Treasure.

hours pass. the bandana is making it hard to breathe, and the plastic bags are making my hands all sweaty.

i'm watching his every move intently, trying to figure out if he's just got an itch or is he trying to find somewhere in the house to do the dirty deed? oh god, no worms in the house PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE i'm begging.

then a thunderstorm rolls in, and it's raining like hell and the thunder is booming. i have a dog and a cat trying to crawl up my nether regions and make the big booms stop, but i'm just a small time goddess, kiddies.

the puppy finally starts scooching across the floor and THAT'S IT! i grab the leash and lunge for the door, looking nine kinds of crazy.

in record time, in the drenching rain, he delivers.

the poopage has been secured and triple bagged.

****

i feel like a superhero. like, Poopage Girl, or something like that.

can i secure the shit, or what??

****

someday, this too will be funny, and add to the urban legend that is the strange planet.

****

so, i did minor paperwork, laundry, moved some boxes around, cleaned up. necessary stuff, but i had other plans for today.

oh well. flexibility, right?

right.

Check out TSB for the most legal fun you can have with your clothes on.