*author's note: this is an ongoing conversation with my Muffin, who is currently baking inside my GC.

Hello, Muffin!

You're moving into week fifteen, and they call this the 'honeymoon' stage of pregnancy. Mama should be feeling a lot better even though you're almost four inches long and weigh about three ounces. Your mama will be feeling you move around shortly, and I remember for me, that was the best part of being pregnant.

Several things happened this week that made me think of you, Muffin, although I think of you all the time anyway.

- The puppy I babysit poops a lot. I think this might be training for me, for when you get here. I fully suspect you'll be pooping a lot too, but that's okay as long as you don't have worms and you don't do it on the floor.

- I saw a video of a baby laughing this week, and I've watched it about a million times. It makes me giggle and smile, and I think of how I'm going to make you giggle and it makes me laugh even more. I can't wait!

- I played with bubbles outside today, in the sun. It was glorious -- the bubbles showed prisms of color against the blue sky, their fragile structure floating up, up into the breeze. It was a lot of fun, and I can't wait to show you.

I start a new job tomorrow, Muffin, and I'm a little nervous about it for a lot of reasons. I want you to be proud of me, and I didn't want it to seem like I gave up on my 'dream' job just to take the carrot of health benefits.

Now, Muffin, I sure hope it's a lot different when you grow up, but I have to admit I think it will probably get worse. I'm talking about health care in this country, although I know right now I know you think (and I agree!) that bubbles are much more interesting.

I'm grateful that you and your mama are being taken care of, and I can settle for that. We'll save the political discussion for when you're a wee bit older. Heh!

My dreams this week have been scattered and nerve-driven, but I remember one part when you were teeny tiny and all bundled up in a pea pod. You had a little knitted pink cap on your head, and your eyes were all closed and your face felt like the finest velvet. I am so looking forward to kissing your cheeks and watching your tiny fingers wrap around one of mine.

I am missing your mama very badly tonight. You'll have those days too, when you miss someone you love so much it's hard to breathe. I guess the easy thing to say is don't love so hard, but it's not like you have a choice, you know?

The new week is starting, and I'm not sure what's going to happen, but no one does, really. Right now the most important thing is for you to keep growing, stay healthy, and be easy on your mama. Next month we'll find out for sure if you're a girl (if you cooperate, which, if the genes tell, you won't ...heh!) and THEN...oh, then there will be SHOPPING.

I love you Muffin, and I love your mama and your daddy, and I love you all as hard as I can.

I wouldn't change that for anything.

<3


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