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oh, the funniness that is life.... :)
the top five reasons why working 3-11 sucks hairy, stinky, sweaty monkey balls:
1. it's not a day shift, it's not a night shift. it's somewhere in the middle, and it can't make up its mind what it is.
2. not that i've recently eaten three meals a day, but technically, i can't figure out when i'm supposed to be eating or what i'm supposed to be eating. it ain't funny. when the hell's breakfast? or lunch? or dinner?? i'm soooo confused.
3. my brain cells are failing to align. all two of them. i can't get mah shitz together, because i can't figure out my daily timeline.
4. the puppy is alone all day in his kennel and he's so excited to see me at night he pees. sometimes he waits until he gets outside, but sometimes, he pees on me. it's not his fault, and i feel awful. at least he hasn't pooped on me.
yet.
5. i'm missing Dancing With The Stars. So You Think You Can Dance is starting up soon, and i have GOT to figure out this VHS machine before that happens or blood will be spilled. srsly.
****
SCOUT RAWKS DA HOWSE. if you want to know why, click here. the woman is amazing, and one of my personal heroes.
the girl's got BALLZ, childrun. i can only watch and learn.
****
now, for some really, really funny shit....oh, you're gonna LOVE this.
according to Miss S, who has close personal ties with a former co-worker (wink, wink, nudge nudge) the Phucktards are in some deep doo-doo. remember the Golden Boy's hotel, and how he shut the heat off of the top floor this past winter, thus freezing and bursting the pipes and effectively demolishing the hotel?
well, they sunk a LOT of money back into it, restoring everything from carpet to drywall to sprinkler systems. the insurance company, of course, is picking up the tab. (i think they left out the part where Golden Boy turned off the heat.) anyway, today Miss S gets a phone call from her former *coughparamourcough* maintenance guy, and he tells her this story:
(are you with me?? it's worth it, i promise...)
a shipment of cleaned drapes arrived at the hotel. the MG starts putting up the drapes, and realizes the delivery truck has not yet left the parking lot. a few minutes later, one of his co-workers pokes his head into the room in which MG is hanging the cleaned drapes and says, dude, you'd better not come out of that room. the cops are here and they just handcuffed the front desk guy.
the MG did come out of the room, and was put in the back seat of a patrol car. Golden Boy is also thus ensconced, also in handcuffs.
why, you ask?
apparently, the bill for the cleaned drapes (to the tune of $8000) had not been paid. the Phucktard refused to pay the bill, saying it was too much and he was getting ripped off. he caused quite a ruckus, not realizing this would be considered theft of services.
Golden Boy calls the Phucktard, and said Phucktard is at this very moment waiting to board a plane. i mean, he's at the gate. Golden Boy says you'd better hie thy heinie over here, because we're all getting arrested.
the Phucktard's luggage departs for destination unknown, whilst he hies his heinie back to the hotel.
there, he pitches such a fit they threaten to arrest him, too.
and there is where Miss S's phone went dead.
****
i cannot WAIT to hear the rest of this story. i'm on pins and needles.
****
there was more, something about the insurance company and not paying, but i was giggling so hard on the inside i couldn't hear above the roaring.
H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.
****
i couldn't make this shit up if i tried.
****
"Karma," the old woman mutters. "You thought it was a joke, a fairy tale, pretty words." Her rheumy eyes peer through the dimness, and lock on to mine. "Now you know better, child, and remember it's a double-edged sword. Mighty power in karma." Head drooping, her eyes break from mine and her wrinkled lids close; she dozes fitfully in front of the crackling fire.
****
wow. that came from nowhere. i guess you can call it a Random Bit of Fiction.
neato.
****
okay, wired and tired, but two more days to go.
****
the research is going slower/faster than i expected, and took an unexpected turn. research is like that. so much material -- i'm rolling in it. this is me, rolling in research. time's coming to put it all together.
Very Cool Stuff.
:)
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Check out TSB for the most legal fun you can have with your clothes on.
1. it's not a day shift, it's not a night shift. it's somewhere in the middle, and it can't make up its mind what it is.
2. not that i've recently eaten three meals a day, but technically, i can't figure out when i'm supposed to be eating or what i'm supposed to be eating. it ain't funny. when the hell's breakfast? or lunch? or dinner?? i'm soooo confused.
3. my brain cells are failing to align. all two of them. i can't get mah shitz together, because i can't figure out my daily timeline.
4. the puppy is alone all day in his kennel and he's so excited to see me at night he pees. sometimes he waits until he gets outside, but sometimes, he pees on me. it's not his fault, and i feel awful. at least he hasn't pooped on me.
yet.
5. i'm missing Dancing With The Stars. So You Think You Can Dance is starting up soon, and i have GOT to figure out this VHS machine before that happens or blood will be spilled. srsly.
****
SCOUT RAWKS DA HOWSE. if you want to know why, click here. the woman is amazing, and one of my personal heroes.
the girl's got BALLZ, childrun. i can only watch and learn.
****
now, for some really, really funny shit....oh, you're gonna LOVE this.
according to Miss S, who has close personal ties with a former co-worker (wink, wink, nudge nudge) the Phucktards are in some deep doo-doo. remember the Golden Boy's hotel, and how he shut the heat off of the top floor this past winter, thus freezing and bursting the pipes and effectively demolishing the hotel?
well, they sunk a LOT of money back into it, restoring everything from carpet to drywall to sprinkler systems. the insurance company, of course, is picking up the tab. (i think they left out the part where Golden Boy turned off the heat.) anyway, today Miss S gets a phone call from her former *coughparamourcough* maintenance guy, and he tells her this story:
(are you with me?? it's worth it, i promise...)
a shipment of cleaned drapes arrived at the hotel. the MG starts putting up the drapes, and realizes the delivery truck has not yet left the parking lot. a few minutes later, one of his co-workers pokes his head into the room in which MG is hanging the cleaned drapes and says, dude, you'd better not come out of that room. the cops are here and they just handcuffed the front desk guy.
the MG did come out of the room, and was put in the back seat of a patrol car. Golden Boy is also thus ensconced, also in handcuffs.
why, you ask?
apparently, the bill for the cleaned drapes (to the tune of $8000) had not been paid. the Phucktard refused to pay the bill, saying it was too much and he was getting ripped off. he caused quite a ruckus, not realizing this would be considered theft of services.
Golden Boy calls the Phucktard, and said Phucktard is at this very moment waiting to board a plane. i mean, he's at the gate. Golden Boy says you'd better hie thy heinie over here, because we're all getting arrested.
the Phucktard's luggage departs for destination unknown, whilst he hies his heinie back to the hotel.
there, he pitches such a fit they threaten to arrest him, too.
and there is where Miss S's phone went dead.
****
i cannot WAIT to hear the rest of this story. i'm on pins and needles.
****
there was more, something about the insurance company and not paying, but i was giggling so hard on the inside i couldn't hear above the roaring.
H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.
****
i couldn't make this shit up if i tried.
****
"Karma," the old woman mutters. "You thought it was a joke, a fairy tale, pretty words." Her rheumy eyes peer through the dimness, and lock on to mine. "Now you know better, child, and remember it's a double-edged sword. Mighty power in karma." Head drooping, her eyes break from mine and her wrinkled lids close; she dozes fitfully in front of the crackling fire.
****
wow. that came from nowhere. i guess you can call it a Random Bit of Fiction.
neato.
****
okay, wired and tired, but two more days to go.
****
the research is going slower/faster than i expected, and took an unexpected turn. research is like that. so much material -- i'm rolling in it. this is me, rolling in research. time's coming to put it all together.
Very Cool Stuff.
:)
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Check out TSB for the most legal fun you can have with your clothes on.
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