Hi Muffin dear.

I thought I was okay with putting off my trip for a week, but the truth of the matter is, I'm feeling sad. I know it will only be the matter of a few more days, and I have a LOT to do in the meantime, but I miss your mama (and my momma, and you and MackDaddy) very much and I can't wait to see you.

Tomorrow, Muffin, your Noni is going to record two of her music memories so the nice people at JamsBio can broadcast them. I'm very nervous, and when I practiced, my tongue felt too big for my mouth. Right now, I'm happy that I'm doing it over the phone (your Noni hates the phone) and not in person. I'm a little scared of speaking in front of people. You know, like real, live people?

No, honey, I don't really know why I'm so nervous about speaking in front of people, I just am. Even over the phone sometimes I'm a wreck. I think it has something to do with the introvert/extrovert thing. No, darling Muffin, introvert/extrovert are not two new characters on Backyardigans. Heh. We can talk about that later.

But you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to practice again, and I'm going to imagine that I'm reading the stories to your mama. (I would read them to you, dearie heart, but you would have to be a great deal older.) Yes, I'm going to read them to your mama. That's the ticket.

I'll let you know how it goes.

See, Muffin, it's okay to be afraid of things, and you'll probably be afraid of a lot of things until you learn about them or understand them better. Like, right now you're floating around in the dark, and that's great, but when you're born and a little bit bigger, you might not like it when it's dark. Then, when you get bigger *still*, you won't mind the dark a bit, and may even like it. (But not too much, Muffin. Remember, moderation is the key.)

Anyway, what I started out to say is, it's okay to be afraid. It makes you more alert, it makes you pay attention. But you can't let it stop you. If you're afraid and it's dark, you can't let it stop you. Either you will come to understand or learn, and the fear will lessen or even go away. Fear is a funny thing, Muffin (not like ha-ha) and the only way to handle it is to go forward. Through it, and out the other side. Just like being born. I think every time you push through a big fear, you experience a Little Birth.

****

I have a story I'm working on for you, Muffin, about puppies and their Secret Names. It may not be done for a little while (because your Noni feels like she's drowning in To-Do lists) but it's getting there, and I think you'll like it.

For now, let me tuck you into your little bed. After we read "Green Eggs And Ham", I'll turn the nightlight on (I know, darling, it's a very cute monkey head) and spray Monster Begone under the bed and around the closet. Then I'll sit with you and hold your hand, watching your sleepy eyes while I sing "You Are My Sunshine" or "The Kiss At The End Of The Rainbow".

I love you, Muffin, and I'll see you in a few days.

<3


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