the strange planet inside my head
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breather
yesterday, i met my sister at the hospital with the GC and Muffin in tow for the first radiation treatment. it seemed right to have Muffin there for the first time, since he's the reason Momma is doing this in the first place, you know? and she was so happy to see us.
she had my sister shave what little hair she had (i told her that her previous hairdo reminded me of a picture i'd seen of a baby orangutan, and she laughed) and there's some bruising on the right side of her head. i noticed she doesn't use her right arm much at all. she has the most perfect and beautiful bald head i've ever seen. i kept looking at it, picturing the cancer inside and cursing it. like that does any good.
she brought her favorite CD's, and out of the three, picked the Eagles newest i had bought her for christmas. i held her arm as she shuffled down the hall, but let me tell you, friends and neighbors, she was on a Mission and just about outran me to get to radiation.
zap..zap...fifteen minutes later and she was done. that was easy, she said.
****
on to breakfast, maiden, matron, crone....and the future.
****
i've been "on" since i got here, and i held it up through breakfast. we almost got thrown out of Bob Evans, and people kept looking at us strangely, as if we're not supposed to be laughing in the face of Death By Cancer. reeeeaaaalllly.....fuck that, i said.
Momma: I don't know what I'd do without you kids.
Me: Are you kidding? What would we do without you? Without you, all we'd be is eggs and spermies floating around.
****
she burped. i burped louder (and i really didn't know it was going to come out so loud!) and we cracked up. i'm so proud, she said. heh!
****
on our way to the table, we passed an elderly gent bent over his cane, and Momma almost mowed him down.
Me: Hey, Momma. That guy you almost took out -- I think he was looking at your ass.
Momma: Nah. He just couldn't stand up straight.
Me: Take it where you can get it, old woman.
Momma: Two minutes in bed with me and he'd be all done.
Me: Hardly seems worth it, does it?
Momma: Oh, it'd be worth it.
****
honestly, she has the most beautiful legs i have ever seen. she'd put Betty Grable out of business. now, why didn't i inherit those? no, i get the Stubborn Streak and Stumpy Legs.
****
the GC scared the SHIT out of me yesterday. we had gone to walmart (a walmart in kentucky is in a Special Circle of HELL) and scored pajama pants for three bucks -- w00t. when we returned home, she went upstairs to brush out her hair and i headed for the bathroom. i hear this big CRASH!! and (with pee running down my leg, oh lordy lordy) i flew up and into her room to find her sitting on the floor -- she'd sat in the chair and it BROKE. she was giggling and i was freaking.
she's okay, Muffin's okay, i'm having a heart attack.
can't even go there. can't.
****
Mack Daddy and the GC decided we needed to see a movie, their treat (thank god. the coffers are waaaay too light right now) so we went to see "The Dark Knight".
i'm not a fan of the Batman movies. i think they're stupid. the characters never lived up to what i pictured -- the underlying psychological pinnings, IMO, were never fully explored in the way depicted in the comics. (yes, i did read the comics.) "Unbreakable" is probably the closest i have ever seen to what i feel when i think of villians and superheros.
"The Dark Knight" is one of the best movies i have ever seen. Health Ledger actually took my breath away. he made Jack Nicholson look like a child in a third-grade play. there was NOTHING of "Heath" in that character. nothing. he was 100% committed, in a way i have never seen an actor commit. never. the closest up to now -- probably Ed Norton in "Primal Fear" or Kevin Bacon in "Murder In The First".
the GC and i had a long conversation after the movie. we saw it like this:
Health Ledger went all the way down the stairs. ALL the way, when most actors only go down a few steps, or maybe halfway down. (in the two movies mentioned above, we figured Ed Norton made it three steps from the bottom, Kevin Bacon maybe two) he opened a door to something special, and horrible, dark, twisted, and fascinating. he also made the character sympathetic, in a strange way -- can you dig it.
seeing that movie only reinforced the tragedy of his death. watching him onscreen, we witnessed something magical, something i can't even put into words. even if you're not a fan of Batman or that genre of movies, you have to watch it just for his performance. i promise you, you won't regret it.
****
today, the GC goes to work and i head out to the farm to spend a couple of days and serve as relief pitcher for radiation. there's a big pile of doo-doo i'm stepping in when i go out there, and i'll have to step careful.
the Big Bitch, yanno. she's pacing. god help the motherfucker that sets her off.
****
my sister does not have wi-fi (GAH) but she does have dial-up. i'm hoping to get some writing done and squirreled away at some point, but we'll see how it goes. then, we Shower, and then...
oh, i miss home so much. i miss my knight. there's a hole in my heart that's knight-sized, and i'm not complete. i'll need a Major Recharge, but i know he can take it.
yes, reenie. i am very, very blessed and i know it. i'm so sorry your journey has been so painful, and just know that you DO have friends that love you and care, even if you can't speak to them. the bond is always there, and thank you for helping to keep the underpinnings of the Empire strong.
as a matter of fact, thanks to all of you. i honestly don't think i could have handled all of this if i hadn't had my family of cowbirds here on JS.
i love you all, so much. the silent lurkers, the faithful, the most loving and caring people on the planet.
yes. i am very blessed, and i never take that for granted.
****
in Conclusion:
ah, fuck it. we all know the Conclusion, but we're not going to think about that now.
i'm going to practice my burping skills, clean up as much of the pile of doo-doo as i can, and continue on.
that's my choice, and i'm sticking to it.
Stuck for words? Visit WordWebbing, spinning words for any occasion.
Check out TSB for the most legal fun you can have with your clothes on.
she had my sister shave what little hair she had (i told her that her previous hairdo reminded me of a picture i'd seen of a baby orangutan, and she laughed) and there's some bruising on the right side of her head. i noticed she doesn't use her right arm much at all. she has the most perfect and beautiful bald head i've ever seen. i kept looking at it, picturing the cancer inside and cursing it. like that does any good.
she brought her favorite CD's, and out of the three, picked the Eagles newest i had bought her for christmas. i held her arm as she shuffled down the hall, but let me tell you, friends and neighbors, she was on a Mission and just about outran me to get to radiation.
zap..zap...fifteen minutes later and she was done. that was easy, she said.
****
on to breakfast, maiden, matron, crone....and the future.
****
i've been "on" since i got here, and i held it up through breakfast. we almost got thrown out of Bob Evans, and people kept looking at us strangely, as if we're not supposed to be laughing in the face of Death By Cancer. reeeeaaaalllly.....fuck that, i said.
Momma: I don't know what I'd do without you kids.
Me: Are you kidding? What would we do without you? Without you, all we'd be is eggs and spermies floating around.
****
she burped. i burped louder (and i really didn't know it was going to come out so loud!) and we cracked up. i'm so proud, she said. heh!
****
on our way to the table, we passed an elderly gent bent over his cane, and Momma almost mowed him down.
Me: Hey, Momma. That guy you almost took out -- I think he was looking at your ass.
Momma: Nah. He just couldn't stand up straight.
Me: Take it where you can get it, old woman.
Momma: Two minutes in bed with me and he'd be all done.
Me: Hardly seems worth it, does it?
Momma: Oh, it'd be worth it.
****
honestly, she has the most beautiful legs i have ever seen. she'd put Betty Grable out of business. now, why didn't i inherit those? no, i get the Stubborn Streak and Stumpy Legs.
****
the GC scared the SHIT out of me yesterday. we had gone to walmart (a walmart in kentucky is in a Special Circle of HELL) and scored pajama pants for three bucks -- w00t. when we returned home, she went upstairs to brush out her hair and i headed for the bathroom. i hear this big CRASH!! and (with pee running down my leg, oh lordy lordy) i flew up and into her room to find her sitting on the floor -- she'd sat in the chair and it BROKE. she was giggling and i was freaking.
she's okay, Muffin's okay, i'm having a heart attack.
can't even go there. can't.
****
Mack Daddy and the GC decided we needed to see a movie, their treat (thank god. the coffers are waaaay too light right now) so we went to see "The Dark Knight".
i'm not a fan of the Batman movies. i think they're stupid. the characters never lived up to what i pictured -- the underlying psychological pinnings, IMO, were never fully explored in the way depicted in the comics. (yes, i did read the comics.) "Unbreakable" is probably the closest i have ever seen to what i feel when i think of villians and superheros.
"The Dark Knight" is one of the best movies i have ever seen. Health Ledger actually took my breath away. he made Jack Nicholson look like a child in a third-grade play. there was NOTHING of "Heath" in that character. nothing. he was 100% committed, in a way i have never seen an actor commit. never. the closest up to now -- probably Ed Norton in "Primal Fear" or Kevin Bacon in "Murder In The First".
the GC and i had a long conversation after the movie. we saw it like this:
Health Ledger went all the way down the stairs. ALL the way, when most actors only go down a few steps, or maybe halfway down. (in the two movies mentioned above, we figured Ed Norton made it three steps from the bottom, Kevin Bacon maybe two) he opened a door to something special, and horrible, dark, twisted, and fascinating. he also made the character sympathetic, in a strange way -- can you dig it.
seeing that movie only reinforced the tragedy of his death. watching him onscreen, we witnessed something magical, something i can't even put into words. even if you're not a fan of Batman or that genre of movies, you have to watch it just for his performance. i promise you, you won't regret it.
****
today, the GC goes to work and i head out to the farm to spend a couple of days and serve as relief pitcher for radiation. there's a big pile of doo-doo i'm stepping in when i go out there, and i'll have to step careful.
the Big Bitch, yanno. she's pacing. god help the motherfucker that sets her off.
****
my sister does not have wi-fi (GAH) but she does have dial-up. i'm hoping to get some writing done and squirreled away at some point, but we'll see how it goes. then, we Shower, and then...
oh, i miss home so much. i miss my knight. there's a hole in my heart that's knight-sized, and i'm not complete. i'll need a Major Recharge, but i know he can take it.
yes, reenie. i am very, very blessed and i know it. i'm so sorry your journey has been so painful, and just know that you DO have friends that love you and care, even if you can't speak to them. the bond is always there, and thank you for helping to keep the underpinnings of the Empire strong.
as a matter of fact, thanks to all of you. i honestly don't think i could have handled all of this if i hadn't had my family of cowbirds here on JS.
i love you all, so much. the silent lurkers, the faithful, the most loving and caring people on the planet.
yes. i am very blessed, and i never take that for granted.
****
in Conclusion:
ah, fuck it. we all know the Conclusion, but we're not going to think about that now.
i'm going to practice my burping skills, clean up as much of the pile of doo-doo as i can, and continue on.
that's my choice, and i'm sticking to it.
Stuck for words? Visit WordWebbing, spinning words for any occasion.
Check out TSB for the most legal fun you can have with your clothes on.
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