And what an innovative title.

All in all, it was a wonderful vacation. R and I had a great time in Chicago, and C had lots of fun at Camp G-mommy. Our trip was definitely low on the lie-around factor, but that was by design. I think we both were probably weary enough to have had a ball just sitting on a beach for five days, but given that our life together has been All Work and Kid of late, we made a choice to actually experience some things together, to build some memories as a twosome. We got plenty of R&R, however, because we were extremely lazy most mornings. Also, there was actually something very relaxing about being able to do whatever we wanted without worrying about toddler mealtimes, naptimes, diaper changes, locomotion (which stroller should we bring? or maybe no stroller? etc.), or anything else related to the Beloved Short One. Bliss.

So we walked, visited museums, ate grown-up food, stumbled upon a symphony rehearsal at Millenium Park, sat in the hotel hot tub, took a boat tour, saw Batman Begins, and took very few pictures, which usually means we’re too busy having a good time to remember the camera.

Meanwhile, C went to VBS in the morning (and played in the nursery with G-mommy and the other kids), then swam every afternoon. She also went to an outdoor band concert/ice cream social, a carillon concert (the big bells were a hit), she got to peek inside a fire engine (this is a BIG DEAL for her), and other stuff I can’t even remember. Down side—the move back to Eastern Daylight Time has been a little rough. Yes, she slept until 9:18 this morning (!!!!), but I just heard her whining on the monitor, and that would be 45 minutes after I put her down, which was already 30 minutes later than her normal bedtime.

One of these days I’ll blog more about the conference, which was a wonderful amazing invigorating experience for me. I loved the group of women to which I was assigned as discussion leader. They made my job easy.


R and I also began the “what happens next” discussion that will continue over the next couple years. We’re both quite content where we are right now, and we don’t need to know with certainty what the next stage in our lives/careers is, except that if we are committed to staying in this area, R will be inclined to do X, Y, and Z (he owns his own business), but if the plan is for me to get The Degree, or if we just decide that this is not where we feel called to raise our family long-term, his next few steps will probably look quite different.

So, off the top of my head… regarding staying in the area:

Major plusses:

lots of opportunity for me in terms of churches (church members who might read this: I’M NOT LOOKING and don’t plan to for some years)

good market for R’s business

excellent schools

four seasons, basically

easy to get other places—three airports within easy distance, both the south and the northeast are accessible

Major minuses:

Man Alive, it is expensive. Oh, I can’t even tell you.

an extremely driven, type-A culture that seduces me even as another part of me totally recoils from it. (My inner Athena loves it here; my inner Persephone/Demeter wants something very different for my family and me)

way far away from family (although, the airports…)

the traffic bites, but I’d call this a minor minus, since everywhere we’ve ever lived has had dreadful traffic

Those lists are rather easy to construct.

The PhD or not list would look a bit heavy on the minus side at this point—

having to move (more importantly, moving all of us, and then likely moving us again once I was done)

or commuting, which is really untenable for a variety of reasons

the expense

no guarantee of a job at the end

having to figure out one thing I love enough to study for several years (I’m a generalist)

do I need the credential to do the things I enjoy and might move into more intentionally—writing, teaching, leading retreats, whatever?

I don’t enjoy the hoops—GREs, language requirements, comps. I’m good at the hoops (I attacked the ordination exams with true gusto), but I resent them and gripe bitterly all the while.

Blech. So the question would be, Why even entertain the thought? It’s a big pain in the butt, and for what? Two things. First, about nine years ago my “ordained ministry or not” list would probably have been pretty lopsided too. But it was totally a great move for me. This thing has nagged at me for years, and one way or another, I have to deal with it.

Second, remember that episode of Friends when Ross is trying to decide between Julie and Rachel, and he makes a pro/con list, and ends up choosing Rachel even though her con list is longer? Julie’s con list included only one item: “She’s not Rachel.” (Actually it was “Rachem” due to a typo, but whatever.) If it’s yours to do, the rational lists take a back seat. (The issues on the list don’t disappear, they just get reconfigured in the mix.)

The issue, of course, is to figure out what’s really mine to do. I think it was Bonhoeffer who said that more often than not, we find ourselves having to decide not between bad and good, but between good and good. I look down the road, and there's joy in most scenarios I can imagine.

Discerning a call in my denomination is a communal process. It’s not just a me ‘n’ Jesus thang. The community walks alongside, affirms, and asks questions, both in ad hoc ways and officially, through the Committee on Preparation for Ministry. Maybe you, gentle readers, can be my Committee on Preparation for…?