Humvee crashes perplex Army
By Gregg Zoroya, USA TODAY
The Army is baffled by a recent spate of vehicle accidents in Iraq — many of them rollovers involving armored Humvees — that have claimed more than a dozen lives this year.

*hand waving in air* Teacher! Teacher! I know the answer to this one. I live in southern California's Humvee country, where every man's wet dream is to own his own Humvee and to aim it straight down the road as fast as he can go, scattering SUVs and pedestrians right and left, so he can get to Starbuck's and the mall 10 seconds sooner and show what a man he is while doing so.

The soldiers are driving like civilians, of course, driving to intimidate. Driving too fast for conditions, aiming the vehicle for the horizon and stomping on the 5-miles-per-gallon accelerator. Ignoring the bad road conditions and having their brains in their shorts, they disconnect the rational forebrain and "go for it"--just as they do here in civilian life.

Sheesh! And I suppose the Army will spend millions investigating and gathering evidence and interviewing perplexed Iraqis and I-don't-know-anything contractors. Why don't they just ask me? I could use the million dollars. To buy a Humvee.