You've heard the expression "champagne appetite but a beer pocketbook" so it will come as no surprise that some foods in this household are bought but seldom, and in very modest quantities.

Cheese, for example. My breakfast consists of raw mixed nuts, a bit of ginger for tang, juice, and a cube of ordinary sharp cheddar cheese. (It goes without saying this is all accompanied by coffee.)

Once in a blue moon I weaken and buy some really expensive cheese. The cheese I bought yesterday cost an arm and a leg, but it is oh, so good.

Enter skinny importunate cat. "You don't like cheese, remember?" I say to her. She continues to try to climb into my lap, never mind that I'm eating breakfast. I give her a bit--a very small bit--of the cheese to buy her off, thinking she would spurn it as she has done before with the cheddar.

Instead, the cat goes wild. She loves the stuff and demands that she be given her rightful share (i.e., all of it).

Who knew that my cat had a champagne appetite? No, she's not getting any more of it. Not at those prices!

I'll bet she'd like pate de fois gras, too, were I ever (never) to get some.

New definition for "fat cat".