My medical insurance company recently sent me a form "Dependent Eligibility Confirmation" by means of which I was supposed to assure them that the person(s) I claimed as eligible dependents were in fact eligible to be covered by my insurance.

So far, so good. They not only have the right to do this, but the obligation to stakeholders to ensure that fraudulent claims do not get honored.

To prove the husband/wife relationship, I had to submit either a copy of our marriage certificate (who know where it is? not I) or a copy of our latest tax returns (with numbers redacted except for last four of SSN). Standard procedure. I was fine with it.

Then I get a letter confirming the elegibility of my dependent and the last sentence read, "We appreciate your cooperation during this process and for helping to maintain the integrity of our health benefits program so we are able to provide the highest quality coverage to all enrolled."

No, they want to maintain the integrity of their data to prevent fraud and protect their bottom line. Why can't they say the plain truth? Why all this garbage about the 'highest quality coverage'?

We do the same where I work. Letters to clients always assure them that the enclosed changes are to provide the highest quality service. Nonsense. The changes are to provide service at the lowest cost possible, keeping safety and the laws of physics in mind. Why don't we just say so?

Because it wouldn't sound all warm and fuzzy. We have to make it sound as if our only criterion is what the customer wants. Well, it isn't. There are many competing interests and requirements; we would be more honest to acknowledge them.