In my professional life, I see a lot of driver's license photos and other related documents. There seems to be some kind of Universal Law that a driver's license photo will make you look like

1) a dyspeptic tongue-tied abandoned cow -- or

2) an digestive system impacted playboy with a tic.

Take a gander at the photo sample below:


more animals

Which category does he fall into? Number one or number two? I suppose there's always another category possible...something like freaked-out intellectually challenged thumbless nerd....