New Viruses on the Loose

New World Order virus: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Federal Bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file. (except for SA)

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. (KW, listen up!)

Congressional virus: The computer locks up and screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Airline virus: You're in Dallas but your data is in Singapore. (or New Zealand)

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Public Television virus: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money. (kind of like your kids)

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy, then self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Nike virus: Just does it.

Congressional virus #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but it doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

Star Trek virus: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

Health Care virus: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.