Going this morning to the VA to negotiate new living arrangement for N, because VA has determined he must move out of their Community Living Center.

I don't know what will happen and I'm very anxious about it. I hope he will agree to go to a nursing home somewhere, while we wait to find out if his service connected disability award comes through.

I fear he will go against medical advice and try to live on his own. He talks about moving a trailer onto the property he is renting out and living in a trailer while using the house's bathroom and kitchen.

This, from a man who needs help eating, bathing and getting dressed! He cannot accept his disability and I'm afraid it will take a catastropic event, based on his lack of common sense when making living arrangements, to force him to acknowledge that he is truly unable to take care of himself.

By then, of course, it will be too late for him to make any sort of moderate arrangements (the VA has cut him loose) and we will call 911, and have spent many hours in the ER, hospital rooms, waiting rooms, all that--all over again.

The people at the VA tell me this is a very common pattern. Patients leave AMA and then something happens, and their families (me) are left with a disaster on their hands.

It is so frustrating to see that train coming through the tunnel and he won't step off the tracks. But their evaluation was that he is competent to make his own decisions...as I said, wish me luck!