1. People's tattoos. I liked them when tattooing was transgressive, a symbol of an attitude. When Tatum O'Neal got one, that shark was jumped. Now for me to do more than roll my eyes, the tattoo itself has to be gorgeous. Spiderwebs on the elbow, angels on the shoulder blade, Tweety Birds anywhere don't do it for me. Seriously, Tweety Bird?

2. Big square man beards. Guys, if it's long enough to comb, you might want to re-think it. Especially if you have short hair, or you shave your head. And never, ever, braid it, or wear a little bead at the end. What are you thinking?

3. The word "Juicy" written across someone's behind. Actually, any word written across the behind. A jogger ran by me today with "Stanford" on the back of his shorts. The ancient Romans put the names of their enemies on the bottoms of their sandals so they could walk on them. You're putting your alma mater on your ass?