Mumble Herder

Update and Redirect

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 13 Feb 05 17:28:00 UT

OK, I'm not dead, and I'm not ignoring cyberspace, and I love y'all. So, first a bit of news; my story "Flash Bison" is in the new issue of Rhapsoidia, which has a train car on the cover, and I don't know what higher recommendation I can give you people. So, you know, buy it. Other news: um, lots of rejections, and one sale, to the fine folks at Lady Churchill's. Finished a story, a very long one, called "A Song for the Merciful Ones (A Capella)"; I expect the title to cause confusion and the content to cause speculation (about yours truly) among the three or four of you who actually give it a thought.

Finally, am realizing that it is both the fact of two blogs and the Journalscape interface is part of what is inhibiting my urge to update; hence, it is with some regret that I am moving operations back over to the new, improved, and in-progress Mumble Herder back on Blogger. Hopefully it will be more conducive to the things I want to do with blogging, once I figure out what those things are. See you all there!

On Re-Viewing Hard Boiled Ten Years Later

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Sat, 15 Jan 05 16:18:00 UT

I remembered Hard Boiled (John Woo's last Hong Kong film) as starting with the shootout in the birdcage-Dim Sum restaurant; instead, it begins with Chow Yun Fat playing a clarinet solo over the credits. Is it really him playing? Hell, I don't know. All I know is, where once I would have hemmed and hawed about it, I can say with certainty that he looks hot doing it. The fact that seconds later he's aiming for the kneecaps, sliding down banisters taking out bad guys with the trademark Woo one-automatic-in-each-hand, capping the guy who shot his partner in a cold-blooded, flour-coated rage . . . well, if I swung in that direction I'd be hard pressed to find a sexier man. I've said for a long time that the three coolest men in movies are Chow, Johnny Depp and Samuel L. Jackson. (I'm not sure if Samuel L. still has it, to be honest. Coach Carter seems like a pretty extraordinary dude, but on the coolness factor? Larry Fishburne would be in the pantheon if he hadn't started calling himself Laurence and left behind his Jimmy Jump days. Don't even talk to me about that Matrix crap. Seriously. Perhaps the upcoming remake of Assault on Precinct 13 will redeem him? But I digress.)

For those of you young'uns who haven't had the pleasure of viewing the Woo or the Fat before they left Hong Kong in the dust (to the detriment of Fat's career; he used to make ten flicks a year, and since coming to the U.S. ten years ago, he's made seven, though he's probably getting paid a lot more), this is the first stop. The Killer has many virtues, no doubt--the signature Woo doves (see the needlessly maligned Hard Target; yes, it's Van Damme, but it's the best Van Damme ever made--and keep your eyes peeled for Kasi Lemmons, writer/director of Eve's Bayou and other gems, as the police detective) the mad gunplay, the melodramatic tandem blind crawling (watch the flick, you'll get what I'm saying)--and the action in A Better Tomorrow is just as batshit crazy (although the story gets a bit tough to follow, even by Woo standards). But Hard Boiled is the shizzat. Some of the best bits are the throwaways; the secret compartments in the birdcage, the John Woo cameos, the gun hidden in the library book, the origami cranes, the beef jerky, Saliva Sammy. Just wait 'til the warehouse gunfight between Chow, Philip Kwok as Mad Dog, and tortured pretty boy Tony Leung. Or the rematch in the hospital. (Don't you dare call it "Die Hard in a hospital"! Die Hard is a great film, you understand, and Woo's certainly not above cribbing from American action movies, but 1) the entire hospital sequence is only the third act of this film: 2) in Die Hard there are, what, seven terrorists? Whereas in Hard Boiled the bad guys are as limitless as the bullets: 3) the boys in Hong Kong weren't fazed by a little bit of broken glass. No unions, you know.) None of it can really be taken seriously, of course, but that's the beauty of it--it's an update of the historical martial arts epic, with guns instead of swords. And no one does gun fu like John Woo.

Anniversary

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Wed, 22 Dec 04 14:37:00 UT

The anniversary of The Third Alternative, that is. Which, I'm proud and humbled to say, includes my story "Breaking Glass," with some kickin' art. Check it out!

Since I Already Outed Myself . . .

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Wed, 15 Dec 04 00:32:00 UT

You scored as Anna. No one understands you. Your life revolves around being different and probably excessive romantic allusions. Stop being so self absorbed and put greater emphasis on examining the sensibility of your behavior to avoid simply becoming an abstract narcissist.

Anna

89%

Seth

78%

Marissa

72%

Kirsten

67%

Summer

61%

Sandy

61%

Caleb

56%

Jimmy

56%

Hailey

50%

Julie

39%

Ryan

39%

Oliver

33%

Luke

28%

What OC character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

One More

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Wed, 15 Dec 04 00:29:00 UT

You scored as Ninja Cat. Be at ease, grasshopper. Put away the horribly dubbed movies and katanas for a while. While physical fitness is a good thing, nobody likes to be told over and over and over and over what martial arts you have mastered. Get a life.

Ninja Cat

67%

Couch Potato Cat

58%

Drunk Cat

58%

Pissed at the World Cat

25%

Derranged Cat

17%

Love Machine Cat

17%

Nerd Cat

Which Absurd Cat are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Hee

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Wed, 15 Dec 04 00:23:00 UT

Book meme:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

"Springtime."

The Confessions of Nat Turner, William Styron.

One Last One, For the Kids . . .

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Tue, 14 Dec 04 21:21:00 UT

The GashlyCrumb Tinies - You have a terribly wicked
sense of humour and people are drawn to your
wit. Children beware of the thin, pale man
with the black umbrella!

Which Edward Gorey Book Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saying Something?

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Tue, 14 Dec 04 21:17:00 UT

Jung Explorer Test
Actualized type: INFP
(who you are)

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.

Preferred type: INFP
(who you prefer to be)

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.

Attraction type: INFP

(who you are attracted to)

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.

Take Jung Explorer Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Me + Me

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Tue, 14 Dec 04 16:36:00 UT

Title out of deference to Gwenda, who hates the word. But I've seen this one in several spots now, and it's nice to look back and see where you're standing. So I am.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?

Hm. Started a Master's program. Read my fiction aloud to (mostly) strangers on a half-dozen occasions. Killed a bear. (No, not really.) Changed clothes (everything but boxers) while driving. Read Cortazar. (Life-changing, I tell you.)

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

You know, the last few years I have made resolutions, and I've usually kept them (I don't usually ask all that much of myself), but I don't remember if I did last year. Oh, wait. I said (while drunk) that I was going to pursue freelance journalism/reviewing. Didn't, really.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No. Lots of people did (and congratulations to them all), but the ones I know are pretty much acquaintances (though they are all nice people).

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. (Knock wood.) Unless you count my hope for change and progressive values.

5. What countries did you visit?

I was in Canada for New Year's. That's about it. Lame.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?

A job in a library.

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Memorial Day Weekend, because this year WisCon was a non-stop joyride for me. Took me a month to recover from all the meeting and the talking and the drinking. The big date in early November won't be etched due to my continuing attempts to pretend it never happened.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

It's a toss-up, really, between getting into grad school and selling all those stories. One vs. many. Practical vs. Artistic.

9. What was your biggest failure?

. . . should I make something up? There isn't anything big that I can think of . . . failing to finish revisions on one of the novel manuscripts, perhaps.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Blue flu, early November.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A ticket to Alaska.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

You know on the O.C., when Theresa was like, "I'm pregnant" to Ryan, only they didn't know for sure if it was his baby, and he had just reconnected with Marissa, who is so totally skinny it's just unhealthy, but he was like, "Oh, well, I guess I better be a decent guy and go back to Chino with you even though I've totally got it made here in Newport with the beach house and the major psycho chick who's all into me?" That was pretty decent of him. Boring, but decent. Except that after he left, Seth like totally freaked and decided he was sailing to Tahiti, which, you know, never was going to happen for real, and what kind of a bitchy reaction is that to take off on Summer who so totally still loves him? I mean, is he in love with Ryan or what?

I love that show.*

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

You know, pretty much anyone in politics. I mean it, everyone. John McCain for setting aside his integrity when Bush summoned him to the campaign trail. Kerry for trying to tell everyone what he thought they wanted to hear. Ralph Nader for being stubborn and unrealistic. Michael Moore, even, for making himself into a news story. And of course, the obvious fuckers in power.

14. Where did most of your money go?

School, rent, food, electric, gas, phone, car insurance.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Selling lots of stories and having people say nice things about them.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?

I'm not sure my brain works that way, but if it does, it will probably be "Spiders (Kidsmoke)" by Wilco.

17. Compared to this time last year, you are:

More financially secure (thanks to student loans). More sure of myself as a writer. Less hairy.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Hiking. Traveling. Falling onto the floor laughing.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Cutting sandpaper.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

With the 'rents and sibs, at the homestead up outside St. Paul.

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?

Um. I think so, yes. I'll keep y'all posted.

23. How many one-night stands?

Well, none, technically. There was one that was something like one, but . . . see last question.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

"Arrested Development." See the last part of my answer to question 18.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hate is such a strong word. I mean, yes. But it's rude to name names. And I only hate them now as opposed to then because I didn't know them then.

26. What was the best book you read?

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel by Susannah Clarke was nearly perfect, London: the Biography by Peter Ackroyd was fascinating almost all the way through, and The Jane Austen Book Club was a comic delight.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

George Jones.

28. What did you want and get?

Into school.

29. What did you want and not get?

A pony.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Probably "Donnie Darko: the Director's Cut." Especially because I hadn't seen it the first time around. Blew my mind. There were lots of good ones, though: "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," "Finding Neverland," and "Shaun of the Dead," to name a few. At the risk of being branded a heretic, I must say that "Garden State" wasn't that good. There were great bits, and the friend was a great character, but the whole Natalie Portman thing was kind of cliche (particularly the end), tonally the movie was all over the place, and I just cringe at the way Ian Holm was wasted in that film.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 34. I ate pizza and watched movies. Hn, not terribly exciting.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

An electoral college revolt.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?

OK, if there are people who develop annual personal fashion concepts, I don't want to meet them.

34. What kept you sane?

Who says I'm sane?

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Kate Winslet, always and forever.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

I can't pick one.

37. Who did you miss?

Mom and Dad. Derek and Lynda. Keith (bad timing, man!)

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Well, I'm not quite ready to talk about that yet. Call me superstitious. But I met a lot of extremely cool people this year. You know who you are.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:

Sometimes good things do happen.

*I'm actually serious.

D - U - N Done

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Tue, 14 Dec 04 16:24:00 UT

Semester 1 (maybe 1.5) of the Master's program is over. Wow. Or possibly Whew.

Jumping back into school full time after six years was a bit foolhardy, but it seems to have worked out all right. I won't know for sure until I get my grades, of course. I've learned a lot though, not least, what I want to do with the degree. I've always figured I'd end up working in a public library, and that picture hasn't changed. But I know now that I'd like to work with kids. Not so much the little kids, though I have nothing against them, but more with the teenagers. I'd really love to be able to work in (or run) a great YA program that gives teens a place to feel welcome and to get excited about books and learning and all that stuff. I know, I sound horribly idealistic. I'll be happy if they feel welcome, but the rest of it would be a goal. I'm really psyched by all the technological approaches to librarianship I've been learning about, too, and the possibilities for programming, and fighting conservative parents on really cool books . . . well, OK, not so psyched about the fighting. And, really, sometimes you have to put the community's desires above your own opinions. That's going to be tough. But I'm really excited by all this. Next semester I'm taking the YA Lit course, and an independent study on reviewing, as well as Reference. I'm looking forward to it; but not as much as I'm looking forward to a month-long break.

Like "Crocodile," But Not Spelled Like That

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Tue, 14 Dec 04 16:10:00 UT

I had a weird epiphany today, listening to XRT; the new(ish) Mark Knopfler single, "Boom Like That," which I've heard several times, came on. It's a good song, but I hadn't realized until I listened closely to the lyrics today that the song was about none other than Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald's. I'm still cracking up over that.

And Finally,

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 12 Dec 04 15:18:00 UT

because it's all about me, I quote The Mumpsimus's review of Say . . . (Why Aren't We Crying?): "'The Lethe Man' by David J. Schwartz is a phenomenally unpredictable story of amnesia, a subject I thought I had had just about enough of until I saw how Schwartz handled it." OK, it's not a lot of words, but they are nice ones.

P.S. Pam, he has nice things to say about "Tempest in a Teacup," too!

Oh, and . . .

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 12 Dec 04 15:08:00 UT

It's been a while between sales, but the Swensons at Talebones just bought my tale of identity anxiety and homeland insecurity, "A Whole Man," which Patrick tells me will appear in issue #30, Summer 2005. Wa-hoo!

Lost in the Grooves

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 12 Dec 04 14:59:00 UT

So I probably should be working on my paper, but I've neglected thus far to mention that three of my music reviews appear in the spanking-new anthology Lost in the Grooves: Scram's Capricious Guide to the Music You Missed. Covering everything from Schooly D to Klaatu to Pac-Man Fever, this is a friendly (read: not snooty indie-record shop-like) travelogue through some of the greatest (?) overlooked albums of all time. In case y'all are interested, I wrote reviews of Johnny Cash's Bitter Tears, the Embarassment's retrospective collection Heyday, and the Poster Children's Junior Citizen. But don't take my word for it; with names like Rick Moody, Peter Bagge and George Pelecanos attached (not to mention all-star editors Kim Cooper and David Smay), this is the hippest without being hipper-than-thou cast of music lovers ever assembled. Check it out.

Back With a Bang . . . ?

snurri@sbcglobal.net — Mon, 6 Dec 04 07:55:00 UT

Hey! Long time no blow things up. Have to do something about that. I've been busy with the Master's. (Yeesh, have I. More on that when the semester is done for real . . .)

In the meantime, the lovely and talented folks at Strange Horizons have just printed my story "The New Year's Party, or, Dancing on Sleipner's Bones." Check it out, let me know what you think!