In a recent issue of Magill, Eamonn Sweeney discusses the current fashion of the youths given to wearing Glasgow Celtic shirts in the average Irish town centre:

“You might excuse the boys in the hoops. Wearing a Celtic jersey is just the current shorthand for being a hard young bastard as, variously, wearing a jacket with AC/DC patches, being able to do Bruce Lee kung-fu kicks, wearing a pencil-thin moustache and having an armalite tattooed on your shoulder were in the past.”

Fair enough for the young. But what of their future? Ice Cube once said that “Life ain’t nothing but bitches and money”, but I’ll wager he has expanded his range since. So the kids, if they have any sense, can look past posing, past immediate gratification.

Could Boris and Vinnie learn from this? Right now they are playing with stuffed toys enlivened with squeaky innards. Vinnie is jealous and wants both toys for himself, as is his way. His number system goes from zero to all with no steps in between. Vinnie must learn to be happy with what he already has between his paws and jaws.

Boris is likely to rip his toy apart soon, so the issue will become moot. The toys will go in the trash and they boys will revert to playing with racquetballs and nylabones. At least we don’t have to buy them expensive replica sports jerseys. Though I would not mind my dogs sporting a tattoo or two.