Man, I'm feeling good about myself tonight. For no particular reason. It's not like I've done anything especially cool today. I haven't even written, since I've been trying to spare my wrists in the evenings, since we're in end-of-issue crunch-time at A Certain Magazine. I've just been reading books to review. But here I am, sitting at my computer, thinking: "I rock!" It's a good thing y'all can't be here with me now. I'd be insufferable. It's bad enough Heather has to listen to it.

I think this feeling might have something to do with Michael Swanwick. Last night I read his Cigar Box Faust (it's a short book, full of short-shorts), and there are bits where his arrogance shines through like the blinding light of heaven and etc. He affects a vast, inassailable confidence in his own talent. He discusses some of the reasons why he does that here.

Makes sense to me. Thinking I rock is way better than thinking I suck.

I also probably think I rock because I'm writing the first draft of a story lately. I always think I rock during first drafts. It's during revision that I start to realize I might suck. By the time I'm done revising, though, I usually decide I rock again.

Circle of life.



I got comments on the novel from my agent (wow, that's still so weird and cool, to write "my agent") today. It's nothing big. She liked the revisions. She wants me to add some mayhem near the end. That's something I'd skimped on, because I feared that focusing too long on the antics of the antagonists would detract from the momentum of the greater storyline about the heroes. Upon reflection, though, I think that seeing how much damage these bad guys can wreak in an unimpeded afternoon could make things more suspenseful. So I'm going to trash some Santa Cruz-area landmarks. Any suggestions?

I also need to take yet another look at one of the protagonists, Jonathan. I gave him a lot more to do in the latest revision, but he's still thinner than all the other major characters. He's crucial to many things in the plot, but he's not living and breathing as a person as much as he should be. A few well-placed paragraphs could fix that. I just have to figure out where to place them, and what they should say.

Other than that, I just have to do another line-edit, make sure I haven't left in any artifacts of earlier drafts, and I think we're ready for prime time. I'm going to try to finish the revisions this weekend.

I'm also going to try to get Flytrap all finished and sent to the printer. (I'm still waiting on an illustration, and need to do a final round of proofreading, but it's basically done.) If that doesn't happen, it's not the end of the world. As long as it gets done before the end of the month, I should be able to get copies out to reviewers in a reasonable amount of time, and to ol' Mike Jasper so he can take a bunch to World Fantasy.

Oh, and Heather's mom is visiting, so we hope to get together with her for some kind of fun this weekend.

And there's this unfinished Rangergirl story, that's just a good sprint away from being finished.

Not to mention a round of revision to be done on the awesome weird robot collab I did with Greg.

I have to write a couple of reviews this weekend, too, of course.

Last week, the prospect of so much to do would have depressed me greatly. But now? Well, see, now I rock, and the prospect makes me rub my hands together (literally! I pause in my typing to rub my hands together!) with glee.

Thanks, Michael Swanwick. Thanks, first drafts. Thanks, universe which hasn't kicked me in the teeth especially hard lately. Much appreciated.



Heather and I went for a walk last night, but it was a short one for me. We were both cranky, so we went our separate ways to avoid snarling at each other. (We felt better and made up later, and all was well.) I dipped the cats in sulphur while she was gone, and watered some plants, and generally made myself useful in ways that didn't involve typing, since my wrists were aching after work yesterday.

Tonight we went grocery shopping, and actually had the brilliant idea to plan some meals! Yes! So we won't peer sullenly into the freezer and then order Chinese food! We'll have lasagne, burritos, pasta, vegetarian baskets (hard to describe those; Heather makes them, and they're rather divine, despite the presence of wheat germ), salmon & mashed potatos. And, because we can only delude ourselves so much, we picked up some quick and easy stuff for nights where neither of us can bear the thought of cooking something involved.



I also rock because it's autumn. I love autumn. Not for me the long days and hot afternoons of summer. Give me a little bite in the air any time, with winter approaching like a deadline. It gets me going. I'm a creature of the fall.