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The Friday Mail Takes a Strange Trip
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Mood:
corresponding

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Reading: the letters of Louise Brooks
Music: old big band stuff
TV/Movie: Around the World (1943)
Link o' the Day: Roawn & Martin's Laugh-In.



Welcome to Friday and if it's Friday then it's time to see what mis-delivered mail the postman has left stuffed under the door. Daisy hates our mailman. I don't know if it's the way the air smells of sour milk when he arrives, or the sound of thunder, or the weird way he just keeps laughing and laughing, but something about him bugs her.

Anyway, this week we have an international envelope with international postage. I'd return it to the post office myself but I know it would be undeliverable given that the address is smudged beyond recognition. Let's see...it reads:
My dear friend,
Forgive me for writing to you in English rather than in our beloved native tongue, but I find that here in America it is important to immerse oneself in the local language of Engish if one is to ge along with the more prickly natives. I very much look forward to your arrival and will meet you at the airport in Denver at the agreed upon date. Don't pay too much attention to the postmark on this envelope. I tend to move around a lot as there is so much to see in this strange country. Yes, you've read the guidebooks, but trust me, Sorin, there is so much more to see that historic landmarks and shopping malls. I have become quite fascinated with the small towns and villages that one sometimes comes across. In a country of this size, and with a population so varied and large--well... here are some examples:

In the town of Humble, North Dakota there is not single soul under the age of 93. While the town's one-room schoolhouse is a crumbled ruin, the cemetary is oddly overgrown and in a general state of disrepair. The local industry relies on a little bit of farming and the repair of old tube radios--owing to the presence of a large warehouse still reportedly full of old glass tubes.

In Wild Kilkenny, Tennessee, the entire town operates as if the AM and PM were reversed. Townspeople rise at around 7:00 PM, got to work for 9:00 PM, eat lunch between midnight and 1:00 AM, return home for 5:00 AM and eat dinner at around 6:30 AM whereupon they often retire at 10:00 AM--all seemingly oblivious to how the rest of the the timezone behaves. Children attend school in the evening. Church services are held on Sunday evenings. The town's only gas station is open 24 hours, but their peak operating hours are not as they are in surrounding towns.

The phenomenon of an entire town behaving strangely is not unique to these first two examples. For instance, in Happenstance, Rhode Island, it is customary for all of the town's citizenry to dress and behave as Hollywood stars of a bygone age. The town council is made up of Yul Brynner, Cary Grant, Greta Garbo, John Wayne, and John Carradine. Local businesses are operated by the likes of Marilyn Monroe, Jimmy Stewart, James Cagney, Carol Lombard, Louise Brooks, Humphrey Bogart and Gregory Peck. I met a set of triplets who all looked like Peter Sellers, albeit in different roles (Inspector Cluseau, Dr. Strangelove, and Chance the Gardener). Likewise, this practice includes children. The town's playground looks like the shooting lot for The Little Rascals. High school students look like Andy Hardy and Judy Garland. No one seems to find it that unusual.

These are the most normal examples. I have heard rumors, mind you, of more sinister, mysterious and odd towns. The people of Umbra, Texas, for instance, supposedly cast no shadow. Sowet, Florida, is said to be home to a family of giants--nearly twice as large as the currently known tallest men and women. On the flip side, Popular, California is a very small town with a very small people--and very, very difficult to find. In Goodbye, Alaska everyone speaks backwards. In Lloyd, Wisconsin everyone wears Groucho glasses and walks with a stoop. They are known for their one-liners.

So when you visit America, leave your assumptions behind. Yes, New York City and Los Angeles are assaults to the senses. And I'm afraid Texas is worse than you've no doubt heard. This country will keep you guessing. When I find it difficult to sleep--which is often in this strange country--I think of home.

Transylvania was never like this!

Your friend abroad,

Lazlo Attila
Cottleston Pie, Wyoming


In addition to that little missive, we have the usual rag paper-crimson ink note. Now that I think about it--while it often arrives the same day as the weirder mail from the weirder mailman--I think these particular messages arrive via another carrier. Someone who works at night. Anyway, this week it reads:
To Whom It May Concern,
We've been giving each other haircuts.
Really, send the signal soon. I fear what will come next.

(signed)

unsigned


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-



In honor of the recent passing of Henry Gibson, today's link takes you to a fan page for Roawn & Martin's Laugh-In. Pictures, quotes, cast bios, FAQs, MP3s, and more. Lots of fun here, and well worth the visit.

As a bonus, here are some poems by Henry Gibson.

Cheers!


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