It's times like these where midterms would seemingly be the focus of my life that I tend to divert my attention to... other pursuits. Religion has become sort of a hobby of mine and I enjoy looking at different facets of life from multiple views, just to see how others might react and why certain groups (the typical Christian American) react the way they do. The Church of Satan is of particular interest to me simply because it is the "black sheep" of religion.

I looked at the Nine Satanic Statements, the Eleven Rules of the Earth, and the Nine Satanic Sins and looked at which ones I agree with. I put a little * at the end of ones I already believed in / practiced / followed before reading about this religion.


The Nine Satanic Statements:
1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence!
2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams! (spiritual pipe dreams = mindless belief in religion due to exposure rather than true understanding)*
3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit!*
4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!*
5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!*
6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires! (psychic vampires being a reference to leeches / hypocrites those who think joining the Church of Satan is worth doing just to stand out or be different or defy a norm)*
7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all!*
8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!
9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!*

The Eleven Rules of the Earth
1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.*
2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.*
3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.*
4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.*
5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.(mating signal meaning consentual sexual interaction, ie. not being a pig and trying to force yourself on someone or raping anyone for any reason)*
6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.*
7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.(star applies to the acknowledging of existence)*
8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.*
9. Do not harm little children.*
10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.*
11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.*

The Nine Satanic Sins (stars here mean I believe them to be sins of sorts)
1. Stupidity*
2. Pretentiousness*
3. Solipsism (believing others will treat you with as open a view as you will treat them... most Americans immediately turn cold if you inform them of believing anything other than some form of Christianity; don't expect others to treat you equally, and make sure you are wary of who you are with)*
4. Self-Deceit*
5. Herd Conformity*
6. Lack of Perspective*
7. Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies (be aware of the past and how easily minds can be swayed; stand strong with beliefs and avoid being turned from what you truly believe)*
8. Counterproductive Pride (pride is essentially a good thing, so long as it does not extend to the point of throwing out the baby with the bathwater - be happy with yourself and proud of what you are capable of or have done, but don't be over focused on self)*
9. Lack of Aesthetics (always appear clean, neat, orderly, and show who you are at your best)*


I was surprised by the elements of Satanism and how close the rules of the church are to my personal beliefs. Who knows, maybe I, the academic standout, varsity tennis, Musically Advanced Class II, Eagle Scout, environmentalist, mechanical engineer, just might be a bit satanist...