Just feeling in a bad mood about exams coming up, despite the wonderful snow, so I wrote a couple of poems. These never seem to come out very well, but it does indeed feel good to let loose and write a little bit (letting loose on the tennis courts is out of the question, quite obviously, and writing is the next best thing).


Memory
Memories are essential to my existence,
Yet cruel time steals them away,
Faces fade, flee into the fog,
Memories shift to shadow, obscure.


This is my life
Is it not?
Then why does it seem
That I am not the one
Controlling it?


Shell
I am a shell.
Admiration is thrown my way,
For on the exterior my appearance
Is pleasant.
I’m tossed around,
Hand to hand,
Just another mantle piece.
They listen all the time,
Hearing my sounds,
Yet no one understands
My speech.
Mumbling, bumbling,
It’s them who are off,
Not me.
Inside there’s
A void.
Not just a space,
A cavity.
I have so much room,
This void to fill,
Yet no one wants to come.
It’s nice inside,
You’d see, if you
Wanted to join me.
It’s my cry,
It’s my plea,
Please!
Someone, come,
Join me,
Hear me,
Know me,
See me,
Be me.


I really am not some depressed high school emo kid, I have everything to live for, yet sometimes I find myself a bit of a loner, a little bit out there, away from the "norm." Not that I want to fit the norm, it just makes things very, unique, when I start feeling like this.

A friend asked me if I believed in Heaven. My response was that "I want to believe in Heaven as much as I want to believe in Hell." Somehow that makes sense.