I wrote this a while back when I was pushing through some... difficult times. I just read it in one of my old composition notebooks and realized, while it isn't all that well written, it was written very very quickly (super-slanted connected writing), was already laid out in my head, and was written with great determination (very deep pen imprints, few mistakes).

It's interesting analyzing my old writing to see how I was thinking and who I was when I wrote whatever the writing happens to be.

This is a rather unusual poem with a weird voice, not exactly the way I usually write. But it isn't terrible, and I found it interesting to dissect my writing style to see what I could glean from the writing itself. (I actually date everything I write, so I just read it first before checking the date to confirm my suspicions... which were quite right).


A Taste of Life

Biting, gnawing, gnashing,
I flail at all around me.
It doesn’t matter who I hit -
If you are close enough to
Be struck, then you’re too close.
It seems as though the
People with whom I share
My heart are incapable
Of sharing theirs with me -
At least not in the same light.

In the moonlight,
Brighter, stronger, more powerful
Than the very sun whose light it reflects,
I take my toll.
Blood flows freely, like rain.
New wounds are made,
Old cuts are widened and
Deepened as I pry them open,
Struggling to share my feelings
With others, and be loved.

Amidst the tumult,
Blood pools around me,
The thoughts and feelings
Of those I love and hate so dearly.
I am ecstatic, feeding,
Feeding off of the raw emotions
Which I so cruelly forced forth.
We try to say that it’s OK,
All the while knowing it isn’t.
Life really isn’t fair,
And apparently neither am I.

I slosh around,
Loving more than ever the
Emotions I have freed,
Freed from the confines of
Hearts, cold and cruel.
I laugh and cry in the
Blood as it congeals around
Me, the divine mix of
The lives of all I once held dear.


As I laugh and cry,
I look around, see,
Truly see the wrath and destruction.
And now, just tears,
Tears of blood, I add my
Own life to the congealing
Ocean I struggle to move in.
As the blood hardens,
I lie, alone, cold, insane,
Liberated, free, confined.
Then I take a sip.