This is a topic I've mulled over before. Is it truly wrong to have sexual relationships before being married? While I was formerly a somewhat devoted Christian, now I have transitioned into a closer practice of Buddhism and look at the Bible as a resource more than a law. Yet it still does govern many daily actions, and in a nation where religion and state are supposedly disconnected yet are hopelessly mingled, the Bible still does have its impact.

So, where to begin. There is the hard line view of the commandment against "coveting thy neighbor's wife." It has been taken to mean that there is to be NO extra-marital, pre-marital, or any other form of non-marital sexual relations. Somehow I think the original message has been twisted and swayed (the way many important passages of religious texts have been).

I view the situation somewhat differently.

The original commandment, which is most honorable, says one should not pursue a relation with his neighbors wife, meaning a person already attached. That is ethically wrong, and our most base human instinct tells us cheating on or being cheated on or being the cheated one is wrong. In that respect I have total compliance to the code that is the Bible.

Yet premarital sex? Really that bad? Kama Sutra divides humans into three basic categories: elephants, deer, and rabbits. Any one of the three kinds of sexual types cannot work with any but its own match. (the three is a figurative symbol) Two people might feel as though they are in complete love, happy as can be, content to wait for marriage to enter a sexual relationship. Yet what if one is elephant and the other rabbit? One prefers a calm interaction while the other wants aggresive all the time?

Sexual interaction is as instinctive as possession. People have desires for sexual interaction, and it is perhaps almost unnatural to try and supress these feelings. They serve as a tool to help a person find a match whom they can spend the rest of their life with happily. To be quite honest, I know I wouldn't want to marry a person who refuses to remain even remotely sexually active.

Sex isn't something I view as alright to just go and do with anyone. But if there is a person you feel strongly enough about, then what is the problem with sexual interaction? Modern preventative methods eliminate pregnancy as the big risk, there are simple, free tests for STD's, it's a natural urge, and can help two people realize if they truly are perfect for each other.

Is it so wrong to think so?