Paint a Picture

I want to paint a picture.
No, not Michaelangelo, Raphael, or DaVinci,
Not them do I wish to be,
But I do want to paint a picture.

I want to paint a picture,
One with just three people,
The father, the mother, the daughter,
All three happy as happy can be.

I want to paint this picture,
It doesn't matter where they are,
As long as there's the three of them,
As happy as happy can be.

I want to paint this picture,
I don't need to be in this one,
I just need to see all three,
As happy as happy can be.

I want to paint this picture,
And show on the three faces love,
And show on the three faces understanding,
And show mutual feelings between them.

I want to paint a picture,
I want it to be real,
I just don't know if I'll ever see
This picture of mine come to be.

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So, this comes after some really rough times with my family, super unhappiness with my sister getting rejections from grad school, and everything is setting everyone off. My parents put a lot of weight on my shoulders over this spring break, and I feel like I just need to get away, somehow, just run.

I've always been the middle man in my family, making sure everyone is OK with everyone else, and ensuring that things are connected. Since I've gone to college away from home, I've lost that spot, and there's no one and nothing to fill that void, and the metaphorical shit has hit a metaphorical jet fucking engine.

It's just a little rough, that and my grades suck. I also got sick back in late January, had a fever that I honestly think went up to around 106-108ish (I'm a stubborn ass, hate hospitals, and just gutted it out), and I still haven't really kicked this. I've taken good care of myself, I just can't seem to drop this thing.

So, things are not the happiest they've ever been. I know I'll pull through, things will work out and all, it's just real difficult to see the reason in everything right now, especially being a Freshman in college, so many things have hit me at once it's just a bit difficult.

Such is life. When life hands you lemons, be thankful, because even though they're really sour, you have something to eat. And then again when life's shit hits the fan, try using that compost to fertilize a field. What's real fun is when life stacks rocks on your shoulders and you just don't know how long you can balance them.