Wow! Maybe I won't be checking out the occasional Cubs game at Wrigley after all.

What, has Sosa been using the cork from his bats to reinforce the stadium's columns?

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More dolphins playing out there this morning. The size was pretty small, so they were a large source of entertainment. I counted a family of four, who were sticking around - curious about those strange land-dwelling animals who come out every morning to the ride the waves. One even spontaneously caught a wave of its own near a crowded patch of surfers (as if there are patches of El Porto that aren't crowded). It caused quite a raucous from a group of 10-12 yr-old short-boarders, who yelled in faux-fear at the fast-approaching surfing dolphin.

Chicago. Great City. Vibrant life and activity. A strong place to grow up with character. I'm gonna have a lot of fun and hopefully exciting new adventures.

But no dolphins.

The El Porto dolphins are fast-becoming my Tony Soprano gaggle of geese (remember the first season?) The sight of them triggers strong emotional reactions, summoning all sorts of latent fears and anxieties about the upcoming move. All from a couple of fish - who knew?

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I had the unfortunate pleasure of being at the Dodger game last night, where the Boys in Blue lost in the 9th after coming back from 4 runs behind - essentially giving us hope and then mercilessly stomping on our throats.

(Okay, I'm gonna talk a bunch of baseball gibberish now, you can either read it or skim past to the end)

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Let's break it down:

Eric "The Streak" Gagne has just blown two games in a row. Gagne's tired - he's overused, and he needs a break. Jim Tracy, I am looking DIRECTLY at you. Bastard.

Reliable catcher and Dodger fan-favorite Paul LoDuca played a key role in the victory at Dodger Stadium two nights ago. Great job, Paulie!

(Oh, Paul's a Marlin now. He got traded. The Marlins won.)

In that same game, setup man Guillermo Mota pitched a brilliant shutout 8th inning. He helped the Dodgers go 45-0 when leading after 7 innings, also helping them in their 35 or so come-from-behind victories this year. He's arguably the best setup pitcher in baseball right now.

(Oh, G-mo's a Marlin now. He got traded. The Marlins beat the Dodgers.)

In the trade the Dodgers acquired playoff-tested pitcher Brad Penny. He pitched one brilliant game...and then promptly went to the DL after throwing out his arm, where he sits today.

Penny on the DL allows nightmarish under-achieving pitcher Kaz Ishii to remain in the starting rotation. Staying consistent and true to form, Ishii got rocked for 4 runs in the top of the first inning - before I even walked into the stadium! Bastard. It was reminiscent of his performance two starts ago, when he gave up 4 home runs in the first two innings. This guy's unbelievable. To the Dodgers' offensive credit, Ishii spots the opposition 4 runs and they still find a way to come back - even if they eventually lost.

One of Paul LoDuca's catching replacements, Bret Mayne, dropped a pitch from Gagne in the 9th last night, advancing the Braves' eventual winning run to third. It wasn't a wild pitch. He just dropped it. Because he's old. And he's not Paul LoDuca.

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Basically, if you don't want to take all that stuff apart...my point is this: Dodger GM Paul DePodesta and "Manager" Jim Tracy both have a debilitating chemical dependancy to crack-cocaine. This much is true.

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In other news the Swiftboat controversy sails on. You would think this helps Kerry, 'cause these guys have already been decisively discredited. Unfortunately, I'm reading on both Slate & CNN that the "Swiftvet's" ads are making an impact on independents who were originally leaning towards Kerry. Read the Slate piece - it's good. Then read Matt Drudge (hopefully the same headline's still up) - it's hilarious.

At least it would be, if so many millions of people weren't taking it seriously.