Dickie Cronkite
Someone who has more "theme park experience."


Old School
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Mood:
hot & sticky (get your minds out of the gutter)

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So I was up in Evanston yesterday, first order of business to get a badly needed haircut at "GreatClips" (TM) - basically your local equivalent of Supercuts or Fantastic Sams.

The girl sat me in the chair and my coif had gotten so out of control I swear I caught a brief glimpse of panic in her eyes, which was perfectly understandable as we both stared, in shock, into the mirror. I even had to make an unfunny "Geez, I don't know what to do with this mop!" remark just to break the uncomfortable silence. She was polite enough to laugh.

Turns out "GreatClips" aren't exactly all that great. I caught my occasional reflection in windows walking along Davis Street and started thinking of the more accurate, well-chosen name. "PrettygoodClips"? "AverageClips?" "GetYouByTillYourNextClip"? "BowlClips"? Or better yet: "StudentClips"? [gulp] That's right - I'm on a student budget now...but I just can't see myself going back. That is, unless I don't care about making friends here...

After the fun at BowlClips (TM) I strolled over to the south end of campus where I'll be spending most of my time next quarter, to take care of some formalities. All around me were compact station wagons stuffed full of boxes and belongings, all ready to be unloaded. Kids everywhere roaming the grounds, some with their parents - but all walking and talking with a style that made me feel ancient. Like that poor kid who got held back in third grade whom everyone pitied too much to even make fun of. Like Rodney Dangerfield in "Back to School."

Yes, indeed it dawned on me: It takes a special kind of loser to desperately cling to the undergrad experience five years later. And I am proud to say that that loser, ladies and gentlemen, is me. Now would you be so kind as to point me in the direction of the kegerator. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Frank-the-Tank! Frank-the-Tank!

We're going streaking! No, it's cool - bring your green hat.


Seriously, who am I kidding? How many people have I pissed off basically bitching about going back to college? I'm gonna friggin' love this year.

Maybe I shouldn't have watched Old School so many times on HBO.


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