Dickie Cronkite
Someone who has more "theme park experience."


Confessions
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Hi - Hi everyone.

Um, I guess I don't know where I should start...

A friend told me I should come here tonight. I told him to screw off - that I didn't have a problem.

That I had it under control.

But then I got in my car anyways. I was about to start the engine, and then the voice - you know, that little voice inside your head, well, it crept up and whispered in my ear: "Just one more game."

Just one more game.

And then I knew. I really needed to come here tonight.

Well, so, here I am. They say this is supposed to help. You know, to talk about stuff and share with the group. OK. My name is Dickie Cronkite, and I have been Halo 2-free for two days and seven hours.

[applause!]

No, no please stop clapping - I don't deserve it. I'm a horrible person. Halo 2 has cost me everything. First my job. Then my beautiful wife Cronkette. She left and took the kids. The kids, they won't talk to me now.

Cronkette, well she wanted to add one more kid to our happy family. But it never happened. She tried to tell me, she tried to warn me what was happening - she tried to blame our infertility on Halo 2 but that only made me more angry. "Impossible!" I said. "There's no way Halo 2's the problem - you're the problem!"

Well, Cronkette and her new husband - they just had their first baby boy.

[sigh]

And thank God, you know? Thank God...[fighting back tears] Because she deserves it. [sob!] She deserves it so much! I'm so happy for her!! [breaking down, collapsing in a pathetic heap in my foldout chair].

...

Now an hour doesn't go by where I don't think about playing Halo 2. I can see it in my head, you know? And that little voice is always there, telling me to turn on my X-box.

I don't think I'm strong enough, you know? To resist that voice. To tell it "no."

I need help. So here goes:

My name is Dickie, and I'm a Halo-holic.


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