Snoop! Snoop-a-loop! No, it's cool - bring your green hat!

Okay, I'm ready to go on record officially as "stoked the Dodgers have rebounded from their 13-of-14 post-All-Star skid with an amazing 15-of-16 win streak." And yes, of COURSE their triumphant weekend sweep of the Giants finally changed my mind.

Relations remain tense, however, between the oppressive Northern Empire and God's Country. On Saturday, the first inning hadn't even ended and nameless had already kneed me in the jaw. I'm not joking. I came this close to losing a few teeth and eating through a straw. And the weekend sweep still cost me an assortment of bruises, scratches and bite-marks. (Completely undeserved, of course.)

This could get ugly, fast.

Next thing you know God's Country kidnaps a few Giants fans and they retaliate with an air campaign and full ground invasion.

Fortunately, I know that if you want peace work for justice, and I conceded to nameless that the Giants were a, [gulp], "admirable" team.

[full-body-shiver.]

Yes, of course I'd rather eat a medley of sheep eyes and goat testicles, but such is my commitment to peace and stability in the region. Seriously, why haven't I been appointed head of some Middle East Task Force?

Dickie in '08: The road to the Supreme Dictatorship begins here!


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In other news, I think the nation is finally ready for a satanic death-metal cover of Sixpence None the Richer's "Kiss Me." The thought hit me while listening to the radio the other day. Er, not that I listen to stations that play that garbage.

...shut up, I can hear you.