Tales of Ella the Circus Dog
2006-04-03 8:58 PM
Dog Fancy Schmancy.
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The People brought home a magazine the other day called Chihuahuas: Small Dog, Big Heart, and on the front it says that it’s from the editors of Dog Fancy magazine, a rag I’ve never read. This is all about Chihuahuas. So they say. But it’s trash. I read it this afternoon. Let me quote from the lead article.
“A fully grown Chihuahua stands about 5 inches at the withers . . . and weighs 6 pounds or less.” That’s just trash. The People have measured me at twice that size, and I weigh twice that much, and I am not fat. But that’s not all it says. “It has a well-rounded apple-dome skull . . . rounded in all directions, like an apple.” That sound is me gagging on the spit wads I’ve made of this article. It goes on. “Any Chihuahua that weighs more than 6 pounds at maturity is disqualified from the show ring.” What a laugh! Like I would go near a show ring that held little bug-eyed Apple Heads! What do these Dog Fancy Schmancies know? My own People would never trade me in for an Apple Head. I know it. I am sure of it. I am Ella the Circus Dog, Queen of Chihuahuas, Princess of Deer. I fear no measly Apple Head. And I have spent the evening chewing up the pages with Apple Heads on them.
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