There is a commercial for Toyota that includes a big talking dog. Big talking dogs are funny (this one mistakes the word “leash” for “lease”). Little talking dogs are funny (like the Taco Bell Chihuahua). Medium sized talking dogs are not funny. This seems to be some sort of advertising axiom. Anyway, the whole point of this is not about the size of the dog, but rather about protecting viewer’s sensitivities. The big talking dog sits in a chair next to his owner and you see the two of them from the perspective of the TV. The big dog’s, uh, private area is obscured by a squirrel-like figurine on the top of the TV. The owner’s area is only obscured by the khakis he’s wearing. It would seem that dog genitals are far more distasteful for viewers than the human version.

My bathroom sink at home drains water at a glacially slow speed. I’ve tried enough Drano and Liquid Plumber to corrode half the pipes in Pennsylvania to no avail. We’re probably looking at some sort of quadruple plumbing bypass operation that will be as expensive as the cardiac variety. One of the small pleasures of traveling is being able to use sinks that drain before the water becomes covered in algae. This week – in three hotel rooms in four days – each sink was as sluggish as a baseball player without steroids. I’m beginning to think there’s something about me that clogs pipes just by my presence.