...nothing here is promised, not one day... Lin-Manuel Miranda

I SO Heart Tacky
Previous Entry :: Next Entry

Read/Post Comments (4)
Share on Facebook
I apologize in advance for this post because a) it’s not kittens and b) it’s got url’s which I can’t seem to do right (as in you click and go there). So sorry – I promise to try and figure out how to do it right (which means probably asking Keith.)

I went to look for something dopey this morning and got lost. Archie McPhee, a Seattle tradition, is a store that some people would find horrendous and cringe-worthy (my mom, except for the action figures) or a store that requires a pilgrimage when you visit Seattle (Stu’s cousin Len, wife Nancy, son Alex). It sells dopey stuff. Really, really dopey stuff. But the stuff keeps getting a) better and b) dopier. How DO they do it?

I mean okay, when we first moved here we knew them as “the place to get all your plastic and rubber slugs”. It is where I bought my first wind-up sushi. (now you can get a sushi throw rug – it’s terrific and sushi pencil toppers. It was in the crowded space over yonder. Since we have become natives of Seattle (happens over time) they’ve developed a website, moved the store and I swear to gods, what CAN we do now, there are NO hits on their website when you type in “slug”. NONE. But you can still find a dashboard Jesus there. But what happened to the slugs?

Archie’s buys stuff AND they have a manufacturing arm – Accoutrements, inc. They’re the folks who created the Librarian Action Figure. Mozart, Jesus, Bigfoot, Dickens, more every time I look. and YES many border on at best questionable and at worst flat-out bad taste (new to me? The Obsessive Compulsive Action figure, complete with moist towelette, And the Crazy Cat Lady).

I have the librarian (you can read about her here and the barista (she who makes lattes is one of MY heroes) Stu has Sherlock Holmes (anyone who knows stu now join in a chorus of “imagine my surprise) and Houdini. I plan on Rosie the Riveter some day; I really likeher Big Rivet Gun. Probably NOT the Jane Austen or the deluxe Jesus, but he IS tempting. He comes with loaves, fishes AND a jug for turning…well you get the idea. And I have no idea what “glow-in-the-dark miracle hands” do. (

Some of my friends and family have received action figures from me as well. If those seem to take too much space up, they are also offering “Li’l William” and L’il Edgar” poseable plastic toys.

But I went looking for something else and oh my. The new “bleak wristbands” (includes nihilism”. The seven deadly SINS wristbands? In seven lovely colors.
Or a wide range of duckies including their own “devil duckies” (there’s a lovely leopard one (for the Sad Anoraks tour bus hot tub) , camo, and an awesome metallic set. Not to mention the shower curtain and the appliqués for the tub and bathroom tile. And don’t get me started on how I want ALL the Cubes. WITH the copy center AND the sensitivity consultant AND the motivational speaker of COURSE. (see good thing we have no room.

But back to McPhees… What would a Pirate Do? It’s a folder AND a spinner. And while I couldn’t find slugs, they DO offer latex vultures. Hmmm….
Class of ’64 gift wrap? (
Bacon bandages? Meat tile appliqués? Rosie the Riveter “we can do it” packing tape? (which Stu bought me from his last venture there with Len and family).
Catholic Doctrine Playing Cards?
Nihilist Chewing Gum? (black packaging…we don’t believe in flavor”)
Windup hopping Lederhosen?

I mean look, I’m heading to the Seattle Art Museum soon to see the Tiffany Exhibit. I, um, I even own miniature Degas and Monet paintings (they’re in the doll house rooms). I’m classy. I got culture. Lots of culture. Out the wazoo I got class and style and culture.

But I just ordered some stuff from Archie McPhee (it costs for shipping but it would be a hassle getting over there, justification #109). Not a lot of stuff, just some cute gifts….and a monkey shower curtain (ok, we saw it months ago and liked it, but didn’t have the money back then and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.)

But can I just mention the Avenging Unicorn Play Set?

Read/Post Comments (4)

Previous Entry :: Next Entry

Back to Top

Powered by JournalScape © 2001-2010 All rights reserved.
All content rights reserved by the author.