I've known this was coming for years. As Stu said, I said goodbye to hin long ago.

My stepdad, Howard Goldberg has just died. He'd been dealing with cancer for the last, what 4 years, and had had it before but had stuck it out. A few weeks ago, mom told me he was going into the hospice where he was already a patient. A half hour ago she called to say it was a matter of days. Then the call came 20 minutes later from our friend Jackie, who's sort of my other sister (no, not Howard's daughter) that he was gone. Mom was holding his hand and his breathing changed and he died.

Howard and my mother were together for over 40 years. He came into my life when I was about 15. They only married a few years back and there were times when they were so furious with each other., well...

For years they lived in the same apartment building, but not the same apartment. My mother said a while back that since they'd married they had not lived together for a day. He was a rock. He was a Yale graduate who still bought the same Brooks Brothers clothes he'd worn as a student. He was a bit um, obsessive - a neat freak - and irritating in so many ways. He was SUCH a good man. He had trouble saying "I love you" - big big trouble. but he showed it.

I've expected this day for about four years. Why doesn't that make it any easier?