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Filing the correct form with the pain authority
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Mood:
befuddled again

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I began having symptoms of back problems years before they were diagnosed as problems relating to my spine. My leg pain, which I'd had, oh, for a long long time (and put down to "humans walk upright and pay the price") diagnosed as phlebitis, among other things, showed up maybe in high school. I sprained seven ankles (neat trick, huh?) by the time I was maybe 26.

I was "properly" diagnosed with spondylolisthesis (yes, go ahead) around the time I was a junior in college around the age of 20. Fusion surgery (and a laminectomy - removal of a disk) followed. And again since the first one dissolved. Yeah, I know but it idid.

In the years since it was all figured out, we've discovered that I'm not standard and standard treatments, standard diagnoses, standard whatever do not apply. I'm forever announcing something to one doctor or another only to hear "that's not supposed to happen!" I'm too young for that to occur, that doesn't recur, that simply does not happen. It began at 13 when that same thing that happened on my left foot happened, with a snap, in my right foot. Something that did not happen to adolescents, but to women in their 50s or older as I recall. Oops. Surprise.

I've been through surgeries, therapies, tests and drugs. I've written and talked at length about my 15 years having DHAC Syndrome (Dave Langford's term for what I have which stands for "Doctor Hasn't a Clue" and I've settled somewhat for being a medical conundrum.

I have bizarre symptoms at times. I'm the only person I know who gets "flash sciatica". The friends I have with sciatica get this awful horrid pain for days. Days. Don't want to move, can't walk, usually two to three days before the worst is over. Me? I get it for a few or several hours and at times, no matter how awful it is, it's completely gone in 12 hours. Or less. that's how wonky my spine is (and let's not even discuss fracture stuff. That's a whole different conundrum) I get different symptoms all the time. But getting a new
Except that something like last Thursday or Friday, I developed a symptom that in 35 years or so, I haven't had. Go figure.

It's not awful, it's not a new pain in a new place. I swear I've had all those (right) (heh). But anyone who's ever been to an orthopedist or complained of muscle pain, or has had tests for "what's wrong, oh THAT hurts" gets asked "any pain?" any numbness or tingling?" and this is exactly that. Tingling. It followed on the, er, heels of a sciatica attack that I honestly did not recognize as such for a day. That finally went and there it was, a tingly thigh. Don't scratch, dammit. Don't rub. it's pretty clearly something like nerve compression from the lowest part of my spine, the part that had surgery and is not in great shape, where things might move around when they shouldn't. But there's nothing to be done about it.

Stu suggested that it's all wrong, that no one filed the paperwork on this and it's against the regulations. A Request for New Symptoms, form 113.5 was not filed with the authorities. This is just out of line. (*snort snicker*) Perhaps i should write a letter to the Times

But you'd think that after all this time, my spinal nerves and all that sail on her, would have run out of tricks to perform. Damn, that tingles.


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