...nothing here is promised, not one day... Lin-Manuel Miranda

My new alternative reality show
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Those most interested in tryinig out for my "reality" competition/show will probably be those who use wheelchairs, scooters, walkers or other Things With Wheels. Baby strollers, even suitcases are acceptable.

The game is "How Many Times Can I Roll Over That?" The idea is to suggest various items that have ended up between you and the ground and the wheels. Did the item survive? Intact? In its original state? Did you require duct tape quack (Sorry, i can't help it.) Have you replaced it? With the same thing or something different? How long did the replacement last? Did you just throw your hands up in the air or, alternatively, throw the item acros the room, or, perhaps both? Are you still using it? Do you need more duct tape? moo (just checking to see if you're still with me.)

The show could involve some visual aids and reconstructions. The catch here is that in most of the episodes I would be involved in, i simply have no memory of doing anything wrong. I have no idea why or how that thing got there for me to roll over? I didn't do nuttin. And I have no idea what you're talking about.

It's sort of a points game- perhaps if it works well we can expand to offer a second show "Klutz for a Day", which would then be open to all creative types. We are not really going to compete, per se, but cheer each other on, voting for outselves or each other, getting the audience into it. There may be a day when all contestants will win. That could happen if we offer a show where only one item is being discussed and we all have a story. See?

Creativity matters here. We may not be able to give "esthetic points" (something that Debbie Notkin and I wanted to invent while playing Scrabble years ago) but it will be something the judge or judges take into consideration.

As Chief Klutz on "How Many Times..." I will appear as a contestant on the pilot show and possibly more often, depending on response. I'd rather be the Stephen Fry/Sandi Toksvig wrangler-type but I hope to participate whenever Ican.

The first show will feature cell phones. This is not the "I dropped my cell phone in the toilet/sent my cell phone through the wash" game. That's too easy and not specific to users of mobility aids and wheeled things. My offering? Twice. Once forward to crack the screen,and the second to back up to investigate what made that terrible cracking noise.

I am unclear on the prizes awarded. Perhaps a replica of the destroyed item on a lovely base. A extended warrantee? A new whatever if it's not too pricy We can mess around with that.

Interested? Write to "How Many Times Can I Roll Over That?" "How Many Times Can I Roll Over That?" Attention: Chief Klutz.

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