I hate to constantly whine on this, but lordy, I just hate it. Since I first started at age 11, they've been hell on me, attacking my gut like some fiery strap squeezing my insides. This month is no different. I just feel like shit. Oh that's a cliche, but one that works. I can't wait for menopause. Gladly I'll embrace it with open arms. Anything to stop the pain. And what's a few hot flashes, I've been having them since I was fifteen, thanks to a "wonderful" drug I've taken for my crohn's called prednisone. And ain't that a hell of a Catch 22. My periods flare my crohn's and my crohn's make my periods worse. There's not enough over the counter medication to stop that.

They say(who the hell are THEY, and aren't THEY quite a bunch of know-it-alls)that the sex gets better after the first chaotic storms of the Big M pass. I'm finding sex is better already, at age 40. Wonderful things are happening inside my body, and fountains come gushing forth. Something that's only been happening for the last four months. I have to wonder, is it because of my age, because forty is suppose to be a woman's sexual peak? Or is it because the onslaught of menopause is just around the corner? Maybe, just maybe, I've finally gotten comfortable and secure enough to let myself go.

So if the Gods of Menopause are listening, please, please, I'm ready. I'm standing at the top of the volcano, waiting to jump in. My fiery sacrifice can't be near as painful or annoying as this. So just hurry the hell up, will ya?