I am listing, listing, like a boat in the water, external forces throwing me this way and the other. I am up, then down, and taking on water. I am dead, unable to control my destination, unable to see the horizon, shackled to this boat on a fickle ocean.

Why do I do it? Why do I try? I am not worthless in everything, just this, only this...the one thing that had filled my sails for so long. And when the wind began to die, I desperately started the engine, attempting to power through but making little headway. Until finally, my engine began to sputter, fighting, whining but ultimately losing it's spark. It too has left me, stranded me on this churning sea of emptiness. And the silence that fills my head is louder than the waves that crash against my hull.