I'm moodless today, I guess.

It's been awhile since I've been here. Not a lot going on, but a lot is. that makes no sense, but then again, i'm not making much sense lately.

i'm feeling very scattered and cranky lately. can't explain it, don't know what it is, maybe it's menopause trying to rear it's ugly head, or maybe i'm having one of those midlife crisis thingies. who knows. i'm feeling quite alienated and disjointed from everybody and everything. it's a damn curse to be stuck inside your head all the fucking time, and no matter what i do, or how i try, i just can't get out.

my dog is slowly but surely getting worse and worse. i always say that, then the big booger feels better for several days and i think, ok, it's all gonna be good. but then before long, he's back to drooping and shitting and vomiting all over the place. he had the sadest eyes this weekend, and it just about killed me. within the next few weeks we'll be putting him down. i just can't take this anymore, and i really can't take seeing him suffer like he does. he should be catching up with the latest increase in his phenobarb, which means he'll be having some horrendous seizures, which only get worse and last longer each time.

i'm done. really, i'm done!