Living the Life
Good, bad, or difficult as hell, I'm living "The Life" the best I can.
All God's Children
Driving Queen Charlotte
Whiskey and Words
Gossip
How to Clean a Colon Before Surgery
My Articles at Associated Content
My Photos at Flickr
Coastal Commentaries
LA's Demand Studio Articles
Cost of the War in Iraq
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Afternoons with Puppy by Dr. Aubrey Fine and Cynthia J. Eisen
HeavyGlow Flash Fiction Anthology Edited by Stacy Taylor
Blue by J.D. Riso. Also available at lulu
Not for the easily offended
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of a cage along with...a recipe.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
a golden retriever
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 pounds
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
because they have cottonballs
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
a porcupine has pricks on the outside
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Arkansas?
Everyone has the same DNA
Why do men find it hard to make eye contact?
Because breasts don't have eyes
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools only use the car on Mon, Wed, and Fri?
Because on Tue and Thur, the Sex Ed class uses it
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What does it mean when the flag at the post office is flying at half-mast?
they're hiring
and last but not least...
How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the F-word?
Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell "BINGO!"
ya'll have a great day!!!
A northern fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of a cage along with...a recipe.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
a golden retriever
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 pounds
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
because they have cottonballs
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
a porcupine has pricks on the outside
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Arkansas?
Everyone has the same DNA
Why do men find it hard to make eye contact?
Because breasts don't have eyes
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools only use the car on Mon, Wed, and Fri?
Because on Tue and Thur, the Sex Ed class uses it
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What does it mean when the flag at the post office is flying at half-mast?
they're hiring
and last but not least...
How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the F-word?
Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell "BINGO!"
ya'll have a great day!!!
Read/Post Comments (6)
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