I'm in a quandary. I am planning a divorce/birthday reclamation party for sometime in July (coincidentally, my birthday is in July, and also coincidentally, I moved out last year on my birthday, which is in July, and even more coincidentally, my divorce should be final final sometime in July). However, I am stuck between two dates. Or rather, I am stuck trying to decide between two dates. (No, not that kind, the calendar kind. I intend to have way more than two of the other kind of dates.) It's one of those things where whichever date I choose, some people won't be able to come. It's one of the difficulties of summer birthdays. I suppose it's a problem for everybody, no matter when their birthdays are, but it has always been a challenge to plan a summer birthday.

I've had such amazing birthday parties some years, and such flops other years. My worst birthday party was my sixteenth. I had invited lots of friends to meet me at the swimming hole on the Navarro River. My friend Brenna picked me up at my house (I didn't drive yet, of course) and took me down to the river (about a 45 minute drive from my house). I brought lots and lots of food to feed everybody, and Brenna had bought me a birthday cake. We waited there for a long time, a couple of hours, at least. Maybe three, I can't remember for sure. Nobody came. Not one single person. It was awful. Finally she drove me home (of course, my family wasn't home -- I'd made other birthday plans, so they didn't feel the need to stay home for me). Brenna asked me if I wanted her to stay, but I was too mortified, and she'd stayed with me all afternoon into the evening as it was, so I told her to go home.

By my 18th birthday (my 17th I celebrated as a junior counselor at summer camp, along with another girl who it turned out was born 8 hours after me at the same hospital in Berkeley), I had wised up a little. I planned a joint birthday party with my best friend's boyfriend, whose birthday was near mine. We rented a small hall, and sent out written invitations to everybody we wanted to party with. It was fairly successful, although by the day of the party, my friend and her boyfriend were having relationship problems, so it wasn't quite as rosy as it could have been. But my closest friends were there.

I can't remember what I did for my birthday the next couple of years, but I remember my 21st, which was one of my best birthdays ever. Once again, written invitations, which it turns out are key. People need something to put on the fridge. I made a very cute flyer with a picture of me all glammed up in a tiny little dress with skulls on it (for those of you Mawrters, I think that was a dress I borrowed from Lin with an i one Halloween). Anyway, I made up this great flyer and handed or mailed it out to everybody I could think of. The party was at my dad's house, and I took people's car keys. I had a ton of food, and lots of drinks of various kinds, and I had a lot of friends. It was a great party. I didn't get too drunk, and I made out with a boy I liked a lot -- I worked with him, and we had amazing sexual tension. Very satisfying to finally kiss him!

I actually saw him at a friend's wedding not all that long ago -- he was still a cutey pie, but he got all weird and came on to me, practically in front of his fiancee. And of course, I was still married, too. Blech. Well, he was just what I needed on my 21st birthday, so I'll always have a soft spot for him, but c'mon, treat your girl better than that, dude!

So basically what this all comes down to is, I don't have as many friends as I used to, at least not nearby. All my friends live far away. So I'm trying to make sure I have a fun party, but I'm worried that not enough people will come. Ah well, I'm sure it will work out fine, no matter which date I pick. I have to not expect it to be like my 21st birthday, and just hope it isn't like my 16th!

Okay, just for kicks: what was either your best or worst birthday, or both?