"i swear to this
she felt like velvet
second blond child she ment it
she comes to take me away
its all that i needed "
Bush

Sitting beneath the shadow of a tall tree... She is broad and proud and in the middle of changing into her rusty fall cloak. Life is strange.. it's nearly November and it's still a balmy 80 degrees. I might as well be on another planet in another universe...this place is such a change. I miss the way the overcast sky matched my mood, my muddy rain boots that sat on the mat by the door during rainy season, and the sound of fat rain drops falling on the roof.

I find a mind numbing solace in running the switchboard at the hospital. I don't have to think, I don't have to have conversation that means anything.. the day seems to fly past and before I know it, it's 3:00. There is a short path from my house to the hospital, it's quiet, except for the sticks breaking beneath my feet. The exerted energy of my walk home is savored as my small sliver of delectable free time. I provide my neighbors a multitude of stowic looks as they stare at me, while I trample through their yards.

THEN there is my second job... I am mostly sure that I loathe it. I am currently being forced to dress up as a beer wench for the bullshit holiday.. Halloween. I HATE HATE HATE Halloween. I hate scary movies, I hate kids begging for candy, I hate pranks, I hate masks and most of all I detest dressing up for a bunch of strangers who want a peek at my goodies. It feels even cheaper to have them tip me because I'm dressed like a skank...

Everything around me is dying, as am I. Wilting into nothing... missing my roots, missing the rain.

"i don't breathe another lover
i'm an alien
you're an alien
it's a beautiful rain
beautiful rain
beautiful rain"