SYRACUSE POST-STANDARD, Sept, 18, 1976

By Audrey (Kentuckypine)

JUST FOR THE SAKE of my sanity, I've vowed to
stop reading my horoscope every morning. I don't
know what there is about it, but every time I read that
darn thing, my whole day is shot.
You can't believe what they tell you. Take yesterday,
for instance.

Mine read: "You must follow rules of caution
and common sense. If you can't attend to demanding
chores yourself, don't expect somebody else to do m
for you."

OKAY I'LL BUY THAT first part about caution and
common sense. And I tried to follow those rules, but it
just didn't seem to work out well at all. First thing I did
was slip on the soap in the shower.
As for the common sense, it took me 20 minutes to
realize the reason my panty hose would not reach up to
my waist was because they weren't my panty hose at
all, they were Tracy's gym socks.

You know how I am early in the morning. If I had any
common sense at all, I'd have stayed in bed.
Now — this business about demanding chores and
that I should be the one to do them. No way, brother —
no way! What do you think beasties are for? They are
chore doers, I am the chore giver. That's the way it's
always been, that's the way it's always going to be.

IT WAS THAT LAST PART that made me decide to
quit the horoscope habit. The first time I thought about
quitting was when it read: "You are at a peak of a cycle
of energy." That's when I learned they didn't know
what they were talking about. It was that morning it
took Don, two of the beasties and the dog howling just
to get me out of bed. It was the same day I fell asleep at
my typewriter listening to my boss dictate a letter. It
was also the same day I sent the kids to bed at 6 p.m.
because I was tired.

See what I mean, you can't believe what they say, and
if you try to live your day according to what they say
it's going to be like, you're gonna lose out somewhere
along the line.

LIKE THE TIME MINE READ: "Money is a sensitive
item and cash is spent needlessly." Boy, oh, boy,
was I ready for that one. I decided I'd leave all my
money ($1.98) home so I couldn't spend it if I wanted to.
That was the day I ran out of gas on Genesee Street and
didn't even have enough money to buy a gallon of gas.
Needless spending you say — what do those psychics
know, anyway?