Titanic 2
Directed by Shane Van Dyke

Titanic irony looms when the new luxury cruise liner Titanic 2, setting sail a century after the sinking of its ill-starred namesake, seems destined to come to a similarly soggy end when an ocean tsunami pushes an iceberg into its path. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration researcher Kim Patterson (Brooke Burns) and Coast Guard Captain James Maine (Bruce Davidson) lead the bid to save the giant ship and its passengers from annihilation.

This is an amusing, but very bad movie. The acting is bad, the premise is bad, the script is bad, the dialogue is bad, and the only good thing about it is that all of the bad combines to make what was not meant to be a comedy, extremely amusing.

Titanic 2 is a ship that is sailing on the opposite course that its predecessor was going to sail. However, global warming is making the polar ice caps not just melt, but crumble.

The first crumbling causes a huge tsunami (with an iceberg in it no less) that happens to be coming faster than the speed of sound. It hits the ship and many people escape to the life boats as the ship begins to sink.

But that's not the worse. Another crumbling causes an even larger and faster tsunami with another larger iceberg in it. This one takes out all the life boats and the ship itself. One woman survives - thanks to finding a single diving suit and a tank of air, but the man aiding her in her survival drowns and freezes to death. However, before he does this, he says that he might be frozen in a cryogenic state and be able to be brought back to life because of the cold temperature of the ocean.

The ending goes something like this: he dead, the end.

Would I recommend this movie? Not really, but if you're the type of person who likes to laugh at absolutely horrible movies, then this is for you.

My rating: Three out of five snails.